Because it is the Image of ourselves that we strive for, the rea lity comes second

This is an excerpt from Kozol's website where he talks about the outdated texts in the schools he had to teach in.  He brings up the point that this shows just how unequal the schools really were because, as he points out in the end, if schools were equal, wouldn't black have been beautiful.  But I take it in a different way;  Some of the most long lasting ideas that we have about ourselves are formed in school and molded by the opinions of the people we respect and encounter along the way such as parents, teachers and fellow students and peers.  By giving so many black kids such negative images of themselves, many are taught that the best they can ever hope for is being as bad as the expectations around them.  How do you fight back and survive when everything is arrayed against you, INCLUDING YOUR OWN SELF IMAGE?  You dont.  You cant.  Some do, and they are extraordinary people.  Imagine what they could have achieved if they had not needed to fight so hard to think of themselves as normal.

Kozol taught in a classroom in 1965 with textbooks so old that the newest one had been printed in the early 1950s. Often there were not enough to go around. They were filled with out of date facts, theories, and descriptions. One geography book had this description of Africans: "The black people who live on this great continent of Africa were afraid of the first white men who came to explore their land. They ran and hid from them in the dark jungle. They shot poisoned arrows from behind the thick bushes. They were savage and uncivilized."

The description continues with: "Yumbu and Minko are a black boy and a black girl who live in this jungle village. Their skins are of so dark a brown color that they look almost black. Their noses are large and flat. Their lips are thick. Their eyes are black and shining, and their hair is so curly that it seems like wool. THEY ARE NEGROES AND THEY BELONG TO THE BLACK RACE."

It is obvious from these two passages that the author looks down on Africans. Yet this book was once standard issue in the Boston Public Schools. This is not allowing everyone a fair chance. This is subjugating the African-American students before they are even old enough to think for themselves. The system breeds discrimination. If African-American children were given an equal chance, Kozol argues, then why wouldn't black be beautiful?

 

Benticore

Out

 

And the disease still spreads...

I cannot Stress how near and dear to my heart this is.  If you are in the struggle, let me know.  If you know how to get involved, pass it on.  This is a passage from the interview of Jonathan Kozol, Author of The Shame of a Nation.  It's all right there...I added the Emphasis.

 

Everyone who has read the book has said that is the story that made them cry. Mireya wanted to go to Boston University. She was eloquent, and her teachers said she was perfectly capable of going to a first-rate university. She said the school had made her take sewing the previous year, and when I spoke with her, they were going to make her take hairdressing. This was a school of 5,000 kids in South Central Los Angeles, with hardly a white kid in the school. Now, it turns out hairdressing and sewing weren't exactly required, but that students were expected to take two classes in what were called "the technical arts." But whereas at Beverly Hills High School that requirement could be filled by taking a class in residential architecture, computer graphics or broadcast journalism - things that perhaps have some relevance to college preparation. At Freemont the choices were sewing and hairdressing. Mireya cried and said to me, "I don't need to sew; my mother's a seamstress in a sewing factory." That's when a terrific student, Fortino - he reminded me of a sort of Latino Malcolm X, because he had this look of cynical intelligence in his eyes - said to her, "The owners of the sewing factories need workers, don't they?" And she said, "Well, I guess they do." And he said, "They're not going to hire their own kids for those jobs." Another student naively said, "Why not?" And Mireya said, "Because they can grow beyond themselves, but we remain the same." To me that was the most moving bit of dialogue in the whole book.

 

In the end, one could consider the deep seated levels of racism and segregation in this country as a way to keep all minorities the same; ignorant, uneducated, leaderless, poor, and indebted.

 

Benticore

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Shame of a nation...

Check Here for an interesting interview of Author Jonathan Kozol, the author a new book Shame of a Nation in which he postulates that America is an Apartheid state where the segregation of schools is so deeply ingrained across the country that it is a part of life.  If any of you have read this book, let me know about it.  Coming from the other side, as a parent of a small child gearing up for school in a couple years, I look at the absolutely miserable state our (St. Louis) city public schools are in compared with the county and I want to weep.  The question to ask me is, 'Are you going to send Cammy to a public school?'  My immediate answer is, pardon the french, 'FUCK NAW!'  Then you follow up, and rightly so, with the question, 'But how will the schools get any better if all the best and brightest opt out of the system and go private?'  To which I heatedly and sadly reply, 'I understand the problem but my Daughter will NOT BE SACRIFICED ON THE ALTAR OF PUBLIC SCHOOL IMPROVEMENT!'  So I short-change my daughter's future for an ideal??  How many other parents with the means face this question and decide how I do?  How many more parents arent even given the choice.

 

What about the schools?  Education is the biggest ticket there is for working class poor to rise to a higher level of prosperity and wealth.  Ive even heard arguments from some black thinkers that official Segregation was better in a way simply because we had to rely on ourselves and we were able to allocate the resources we had to improve our schools and our neighborhoods and what not.  Im not conversant enough in that idea to even discuss my opinions on it fully but it is interesting none the less.  What do YOU think?  Comment and let me know.  It is such a necessary conversation to have, not only for parents and teachers, but for communities, both white and black and latino.

 

Benticore

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Cause it's like that...

This is from an article posted on the GNN Network which is a good place to get yourself real pissed off.  But here, just a good view of the though processes of our nations policymakers about drugs and our War on Drugs...Enjoy! =0)

 

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Then:
"Most marijuana smokers are Negroes, Hispanics, jazz musicians, and entertainers. Their satanic music is driven by marijuana, and marijuana smoking by white women makes them want to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and others. It is a drug that causes insanity, criminality, and death - the most violence-causing drug in the history of mankind."
Harry J. Anslinger (1892-1975), first Commissioner of the U.S. Federal Bureau of Narcotics, widely considered the first United States "drug czar"

Now:
"What really drives the battle against law enforcement and punishment is not a commitment to treatment, but the widely held view that, first, we are imprisoning too many people for merely possessing illegal drugs; second, drug and other criminal sentences are too long and harsh, and third, the criminal justice system is unjustly punishing young black men. These are among the great urban myths of our time.
The idea that our prisons are filled with people whose only offense was possession of an illegal drug is utter fantasy."
John P. Walters, Director (Drug Czar) - White House Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP)

Why I love her so much...even when she doesn't flap...

The following is a conversation my beloved Mielita and I had today.  The weirder I get, the more unflappable she becomes...although every now and again I'd wish she'd flap but mostly I'm in awe of her no-flapping policies and her ability to stick to them in the face of horrific wierdness and toxic levels of nerdosity. 

 

Raquita: did you take your meds this morning 

 

Benticore: uhhh...

 

Raquita: what you mean uhhhh?!?!?!

 

Benticore: I didnt NOT take them...

 

Raquita: Didn't not?

 

Benticore: In theory, if everything is energy on differing wavelengths, then the only difference between solid objects and air is the frequencey in which the object vibrates.  Futhermore, if all energy vibrates at certain frequencies, one would postulate that thought represents energy.  By thinking, we create energy that is different from the everyday objects that surround us only in vibrational frequency.  This morning, I thought about taking my pills.  From an energistic standpoint, I DID take my pills.  The energy formations and vibrations may not have been on a level that you could detect but one cannot deny existence of a thing simply because one cannot see the thing in front of them.  The question of whether or not I physically ingested the pill is irrevelant.  In energistic frequencies, all manner of tasks have been accomplished, their results measured and calculated, props and daps distributed accordingly.  So you see, when I state that I didnt NOT take the pill, all may be elucidated and verifies under simple scientific reasoning.   So NYAH! 

 

Raquita: ummm...how about no

 

Benticore: I put forth a valid scientifically based argument and all you can say is Umm...how about no??  I blame the schools, racial bias, gender inequality and George Bush.  You should strive for more erudition in your attempts to refute my devastatingly ingenious theorums and hypotheses 

 

Raquita:  :P

 

Benticore: sigh...Im such a nerd.... 

 

Raquita: but I love your nerdyness more than you will ever know and if I wasn't listening to lecture I'd have wrote back more 

 

 

 

Welcome to the Police States of America! Papers please...

 Welcome to the New state of things.  This happened today amid tons of Katrina coverage and government blustering.  What this means to the future of dissent in this country is downright terrifying.  I cant think of a worse thing to happen to 'America', the idea and dream of what it could be.  Keep your eyes open.

 

Benticore

Out

RICHMOND, Va. - A federal appeals court Friday sided with the Bush administration and reversed a judge's order that the government either charge or free "dirty bomb" suspect Jose Padilla.

The three-judge panel of the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled unanimously that the president has the authority to detain a U.S. citizen closely associated with al-Qaida.

"The exceedingly important question before us is whether the President of the United States possesses the authority to detain militarily a citizen of this country who is closely associated with al Qaeda, an entity with which the United States is at war," Judge Michael Luttig wrote. "We conclude that the President does possess such authority."

A federal judge in South Carolina had ruled in March that the government cannot hold Padilla indefinitely as an "enemy combatant," a designation President Bush gave him in 2002. The government views Padilla as a militant who planned attacks on the United States.

Broader implications for America
Padilla's attorney said his client would probably appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, adding that the 4th Circuit's decision could have grave implications for all Americans.

"It's a matter of how paranoid you are," Andrew Patel said. "What it could mean is that the president conceivably could sign a piece of paper when he has hearsay information that somebody has done something he doesn't like and send them to jail - without a hearing (or) a trial."

The administration has said Padilla, a former Chicago gang member, sought to blow up hotels and apartment buildings in the United States and planned an attack with a "dirty bomb" radiological device.

Padilla was arrested at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport in 2002 after returning from Pakistan. The federal government has said he was trained in weapons and explosives by members of al-Qaida.

Padilla, now in a military prison in Charleston, S.C., has been in custody for more than three years.

Padilla first released last October
Padilla, a New York-born convert to Islam, is one of only two U.S. citizens designated as enemy combatants. The second, Louisiana native Yaser Hamdi, was released last October after the Justice Department said he no longer posed a threat to the United States and no longer had any intelligence value.

Hamdi, who was captured on the battlefield in Afghanistan in 2001, gave up his American citizenship and returned to his family in Saudi Arabia as a condition of his release.

Luttig, who has been mentioned as a possible candidate for the U.S. Supreme Court, was joined in his opinion by Judges M. Blane Michael and William B. Traxler Jr.

© 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

George Bush doesn't care about black people...

Kanye West uttered those words on National TV Friday (NBC) and, amoung most black people, uttered a fact that has been blatantly obvious for years.  I heard Obama talk about Kanye's point, shift it, and polish it until it shined with a health PC glow, saying the Bush doesnt have much sympathy for the economically challeneged.  I'd put the two together.

 

GEORGE BUSH DON'T CARE ABOUT POOR PEOPLE

GEORGE BUSH DON'T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE

IF YOU'RE POOR & BLACK, GEORGE BUSH ACTUALLY HATES YOU. A LOT. SERIOUSLY.

 

Here are a couple of things I've been hearing through the media that have made my eye twitch...

 

 

Dont use the word Refugees on Americans cause we don't like the image it evokes...

I've heard this stated a lot of different ways in a lot of different media channels in the past few days.  All I can say, as I shake my head in disbelief is 'Are you fucking serious?'  I can understand why this might offend or disturb delicate American self-images, the 'Pull up the boot-straps, Can-Do' American Gusto still a thick veil pulled over the eyes of the priveleged as they gaze upon the 'Lazy, unmotivated poor'.  But there are a lot of things that America as a country does that doesn't offend simply because we aren't forced to deal with it.  Calling them refugees is technically correct and, more importantly shoves the whole ugly mess right under our noses where it's stench cannot be ignored.

 

What made Nawlins so special was it's mixture of cultures where you had the French quarter right next to the less well off.  If they rebuild, they might not keep the same mix that made the place so great.

Am I losing my mind or did you just tell me that the reason why you love New Orleans so much is because you can mingle with the ridiculously poor and downtrodden black populace that rings the city but not have to actually care who they are or what they do?  I wonder if the hundreds of thousands of poor bastards that have fled the city really thought it was so charming, seeing their abject poverty shoved in their faces time and time again by a partying touring populace.  Maybe I'm wrong.  It just made my eye twitch.

 

Thats all for now, I promise there's more

 

Benticore

Out

Hell on Earth, it's bricks laid by our own hands...

Katrina...back when Bill 'He's black enough' Clinton was in office, some of the right winded among us wondered if a less than high moraled woman (who really was just pimped by a Tripp) would bring down the presidency.  Now we know that it is Katrina that has ripped the facade of America off of it's rotting infrastructure to reveal how badly we've become, as a nation, as a society, as a bunch of people living in the same geographical region.  I pray that Katrina will represent a paradigm shift in the thinking ways of Americans but I also pray that the costs wont weigh so heavily on the poor, the downtrodden and mostly black population.

There are numerous things to think about and pray about when it comes to this Devastation.  New Orleans comes first to mind, more so because I'm a city person and thats my sister city (St. Louis).  So many poor black people there left to fend for themselves, demonized as looters, attacked by gangs and ignored by the National Gaurd.  But thats just the city.  It gets most of the press...I got an aunt down near Biloxi.  The country side, the rural areas.  I can't even fathom the dead, the dying, the hunger, the thirst.  That anyboyd, ANYBODY should die of thirst in this country speaks volumes about our attitudes towards the poor and the depth of racism and bigotry still thriving in ALL parts of this country.  My wife went from Angry (she saw the AP pictures of the black kid 'Looting' a store for food and a white couple "Finding" food in a store and nearly lost her mind...I cant blame her) to despair at her inability to help.  Go to www.raquita.blogspot.com to see the juxtaposed pictures for yourselves.  People who loot TVs are crazy when they live in a city that wont have power for 3 months...but people looting grocery stores and pharmacies are doing what they have to to survive.  If a bunch of people break into a fast food joint, chances are they're doing so to may cook some food, find something to eat.  That there are reports that people are being turned away at gunpoint by the National Gaurd just serves to worse the sitch.

Send money to Red Cross, or United Way.  That will help.  But will it be in time?  If you believe that America can be a great, wonderful place, or if you think that it should at least be a fair place, do some research, as heartbreaking as it may be, discover the cold, hard, ugly facts that both political parties are equally to blame for leaving us in this state and we, The People, are even more to blame for letting them, and make some decisions.  Start thinking about a world were food prices double and triple because gas is so expensive, where state funding for social programs is cut back even more as the war in Iraq deteriorates into Civil War and the government spends more money on policing its poor than feeding them.  Start thinking long range about the way our world is going to change and how we must change with it or die underneath it.

It's hard.  It hurts, and nobody wants to think about a future that might very well be much worse than what we can imagine, promises from a futile, co-opted government notwithstanding.  But please.  Think, plan, be prayerful, be vigilant and be ready.

Benticore
Out
(God gave us free will so we could save each other...)

Pud'n, do you know what tough love is?

Relatively uneventful weekend.  Had some a poet in from London who did the local spots and shared in some home cooked viddles.  Spent some time on the computer indulging in my WOW addiction...prolly too much time.  Cooked and cleaned and cleaned and cooked.  Aside from that, it was a pretty laid back weekend...

 

Didnt have the poker night, which I explained to Super Joe, was probably a good think since this way he'd have enough moeny to buy gas and get home.  The man studies the game and still can't beat me.  Sometimes you just got to have it.  Whats that?  The Skillz, be they Ill, Sick, Crazy, Dope or otherwise.

 

Daimushi, if you don't post soon, I will come over there and sodomize you with a bukoken...so get to it!

 

Benticore

Out

(...Cause sometimes love hurts...and I love you Alot, Pudn...)

Whats this? Might be interesting...

Hey, I was tooling around on the web a few days ago and I saw an interesting Blog at http://www.cubsonbearfield.blogspot.com/ which seems like it might be an interesting read. Check it out.

Benticore

Out

A Mi Mielita, luz de mi alma. Soy siempre agradecido para su amo r

This morning, born

like all other mornings

was different; I held her

Our tired, sleep-dusty bodies

leaned against one another

like old homes.

 

On this morning, I whispered

into her neck - Every morning

should begin like this, in each

others arms, my lips on your

warm collar bone, we steepled

together against the moments

we are forced apart.

I whispered kisses onto her skin

felt the ache of another day

outside of my arms push

against my lips.

She stayed silent drawing me

close, repeating 'Every day should

begin like this' with her arms, draping

them across my whip-scarred back.

She traces incantations against despair

with her fingers, scratching through

tired morning fog to reach my scalp and

sign my thoughts, binding them to her.

 

Every day should begin like this,

steeled against the great injustice

of morning, of the exile from forever

in your embrace.  Instead most

days bloom and wilt unnoticed, tastes

unremembered through the hazy gaze

of memory.  But I am thankful, that our

last days lay far ahead, around a wooded

bend and out of sight.  There is still time to

stamp our hard mark on each day, each

morning in each other's arms a monument,

a flower bloomed and touched.

 

Each day should begin like this.

My prayers are that most will.

 

I love you, today, yesterday, and tomorrow, but especially right now, which never leaves and was always here...

Benticore

Out

Oookay did you miss me?

Okay so I lied about not posting for awhile but my mood just lightened and I have one incredible human phenomenon to thank...

Aren't you glad laughter is contagious?
Because it is. Whenever you hear somebody laughing, I mean really busting a gut, tears pouring from their eyes, barely able to catch their breathe, bent over for the hilarity of it all, it makes you smile a little bit and maybe even chuckle, wondering what could be so funny. Thats what happened at work today when two ladies started laughing like that and finished ten minutes later, out of breathe and surrounded by chuckling, curious onlookers. I never figured out what was so funny but that much laughter and smiles helped me to crack my fairly grumpy mood. In fact, in africa, a case of giggles got so out of hand at a school that it spread like wildfire through the whole student body, many of them having to be admitted to the hospital for observation. They just could not stop laughing. Somedays, that doesnt sound all that bad...

Benticore
Out

The Ghost on the Black and Whites...

Thats not the point of this post but just something to stick in your memory over the weekend, something to mull over idly while you pull into your drive way from an exhausting week at work, something to try and ignore while you search in vain for the tidbits not ruined in your refridgerator that will comprise your next meal.  The Ghost on the Black and Whites. Actually it seems fairly self-explanatory to me.  But enough of that...on to the post, which is more of a motto for the day.

 

The Motto for today, kids, is: Let it Roll...

Let it roll.  Think water, duck's backs, gravity, and the way they all tend to intermingle unsatisfyingly.  Some days, you just have to let it roll.  The blind old woman pushing the SUV cuts you off and nearly runs you into a concrete median?  Let it roll.  Sure, you could get mad, screaming and cursing and honking your horn and making obscenities.  You could follow the old woman to her destination whereupon you unleash your Louisville Slugger signed by Terry Pendleton from the backseat of your car and prepare her bumper and tail lights for a very special episode of 'Pimp your Ride'.  You could even go 'gangsta' on the old lady when she yells at you, getting in her face and snarling like a wild beast, daring her to do anything but to submit to the righteous rage and power of black man wronged by society in general and old ladies like her specifically.  Yeah, you could go through all that, but where would that leave you?  You'd get back into your car, still, mad, still fuming, and instead of being able to go about your day, you would relive it, over and over, wondering how you lost your cool, praying that neither she, nor the people who stopped and gaped at you in horror had cell phones with cameras on them.  The scene would haunt you all day, and, instead of making you feel better, would probably ruin the rest of your week, especially when the police gave you a little call to tell you to come downtown to talk to them for a little bit.

 

    Not that any of that happened to me, mind you, I was just illustrating a point.  Sure, it's been a fairly yuck day, and sure I'm hungry and tired and frustrated and lonely and antsy.  But do I complain?  Not this  soldier...well...not till just now, anyway... I'm trying to just let it roll.  Let it Roll.  Stress is a killer and It's almost the weekend.  What do I have to complain about?  Well, aside from all that stuff, above....Just Let It Roll...

 

    The end is nigh...

    This will probably be my last post for awhile.  I keep hearing that people read my blog all the time but get mad when I dont respond but the only way I know anybody has even been through this tumbleweed infested podunk of a website is when they leave a comment.  So do your part and leave a comment so that I know that you were here.  Hey, maybe I'll come to your sight and grace it with my presence and leave you a word or two of wisdom.  Maybe You are that lucky?

 

Have a good weekend and remember...Let It Roll...

 

Benticore

Out

'Nuff said... (Mad props to The Onion @ www.theonion.com )

EVANGELICAL SCIENTISTS REFUTE GRAVITY WITH NEW 'INTELLIGENT FALLING' THEORY

KANSAS CITY, KS-As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public
schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose
Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical
Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held
"theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new
theory of Intelligent Falling.

Above: Rev. Gabriel Burdett (left) explains Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force,
but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down,"
said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and
physics from Oral Roberts University.

Burdett added: "Gravity-which is taught to our children as a law-is founded
on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between
all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself
said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which
philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding
to a higher power."

Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical
physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.

According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the
International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For
Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity
alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into
Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian
conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give
equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not
asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that
students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed
decision."

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by
secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even
critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are
mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent
Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory
Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind,
both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making
them fall-just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind
is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling
everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This
clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law
based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical
physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's
mathematics and Holy Scripture.

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general
relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen
Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the
Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of
a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully
compiled data, they still don't know how."

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is
supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to
realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for
'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an
elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.

"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the
'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear
force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt
their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of
the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is:
His name is Jesus."

The Matrix Has Reset itself...

Portents in dreams...

Okay, so this morning (the morning of 8/16/05, which is also my father's birthday) I had a dream that I woke up, tried to get Raquita to wake up, pulled on some clothes and then laid back down to catch a few more minutes sleep before Grandma got there.  But then I woke up again, looked down, saw that I didnt have any clothes up and got up again, a little annoyed that I had to get dressed all over again.  Thinking you've woken up but you're still in a dream?  Rare but it happens...But then I get to work...The first thing my boss tells me is that he had a dream where he woke up, did some stuff and then woke up again...and his wife had the same experience.  Weird, very weird.  Then a co-worker who came over to talk about his new dog, started to talk about how HE woke up to walk the dog, was outside and woke up again in his bed, a little confused.  This morning his wife called (maybe she's out of town) and told him that SHE had the same kind of dream. 

 

So, what I want all the visitors to do who come to this site (all three of you) is to think back to this morning.  Did you wake up today but were still in a dream but didnt realize it till you woke up again?  The dream in which you woke up would only have lasted maybe ten minutes or so.  If you did, holla at me.  Maybe the Matrix DID get reset.  Either way, some strange stuff might be afoot.

 

 

Who's your daddy?  That guy right there...

So I won this weekend's little Poker game at the house.  It was again a lot of fun.  I wont go into the details for all of you who aren't poker fans but a little advice to General Saito; If you've got a King high flush, DO NOT FOLD!!  The chances of somebody holding that ace of spades is pretty low and you've got a good chance of winning.  My father came through which was great, cause I've never played cards with him and he seemed to have a good time.  We went to brunch with him on sunday and will probably go to dinner with him sometime this week.  Today is his birthday so I wanna get two books for him, aside from his coin collecting book.  I wish I could get them signed like he gets our gifts signed but he's retired so he has that kind of time.

 

 

An Irishman goes up a mountain in a Sweatshirt...stop me if you've heard this one...

Talked to our Man in Japan last night.  He's on his way to the top of Mount Fuji as we speak, going on a night hike of the mountain.  For some reason, his parents didnt send him a coat, just a sweatshirt, and no hiking boots, just tennis shoes, so he's going to have a tough time, never mind the smoking and lack of excercise.  But we're praying for you, big Dog...Just remember to fall Forward (apparently a freshman was found dead there just yesterday, killed from a fall that scraped him along the rocky, razor sharp igneous rocks that litter the mountain side).

 

 

Sometimes all you need is a little quiet space...

Last night, I left the comforts of home to venture to the local library to do some writing.  I must say that it was a very productive evening and I got a lot of writing done.  If I can get 9 hours a week at the library, I'll really be able to make a dent in this novel.  9 hours writing, 9 hours working out, 18 hours makin love to my woman, 18 hours playing with my daughter.  I just need to cut out that work....thing....

 

 

Benticore

Out

(And he's dating a girl named AK...)

Like I promised....the rest of the story...

California Dreamin' 

    So we went to Cali-Cali to see the Fam for the Reunion.  The trip out there was exhausting but not terrible, our hotel at the Hilton was a suite and pretty well outfitted (two TVs but no Microwave?) and the weather in LA was chilly in the morning, perfect in the afternoon.  We had a little fish fry at a park right around the corner from my aunts house on Friday, then went sight seeing and had a banquet Saturday, then the barbeque on Sunday and Monday we went to Santa Monica peer with our good friend Amber and her mom.  Yeah, Amber's busy writing her dissertation for her PhD.  How old is she?  24.  And cute, and fun, and silly and friendly.  Yeah, I hate her too.  Heheh, not really...she's a great friend when we get to see her though. 

    Some highlights of the trip include standing outside the Mann's Chinese theatre getting hit up for spare change from Elmo, Driving the Murano in LA 405 traffic, trying to talk to distant cousins and coming away with the distinct impression that they thought I was trying to hit on them, seeing my Auntie's house which I hadn't set foot in since I was 8 and had not changed one bit, realizing that a house in STL  which might go for $150'000 will sell in LA for $750'000, watching my older aunts and uncles dance like they were at the juke joint when the DJ put on Ying-Yang Twins, and seeing Camille getting chased by a boy who tried to kiss her and watch as she artfully evaded him and then swiped at him when he got too close.  That's my girl!  Of course, when we were at Amber's house Camille went on her first date while I stood nearby, gnashing my teeth and trying not to strangle the (admittedly adorable) little monster that was with her.  Oh, I can't even lie, it was cuter than anything I've ever seen when Amber's Nephew (whatshisname? I cant remember now...not that this will be a precedent...me forgetting my daughter's boyfriends name to hilarious and embarrassing consequence) gave her a hug, helped her into his wagon and then took her for a ride up and down the sidewalk.  When it was time for him to go, he gave Camille a big hug which she happily reciprocated (causing a blood vessel in my head to burst...I'm not going to survive puberty, am I?) and they were all smiles and giggles.

 

 The Last Scion 

    My father tells me (actually he told me this before but I posting about it now) that I'm the last hope for the Henderson line to continue it's inexorable march into history.  When he saw my look of bewilderment, he leaned forward conspiratorially and 'broke the damn thang down' as you young pups are wont to say these days. My father, Jerry Henderson Jr, has 19 brothers and sisters.  Of the 19, 5 are boys.  Of those boys, two died at birth, one died 10 years ago with no kids and Uncle Karl is married with a girl.  My father just had me and isn't;t planning on having anymore.  So, if I don't have a man child It'll be the end.  My father thought it was kinda funny but that's a lot of pressure!  I mean, the fact that both my and Raquita's family is much more prone to have girls doesn't make my prospects great.  And it really is up to me since the male determines whether the child is male or female.  Sigh...I go to the family reunion and get sent on a holy...uh... quest....to save the family from the fate of...erm....fate of...falling into the sands of time to be forgotten forever?  That'll do, pig...that'll do.

 

 Car Envy 

    While we were tooling around in sunny LA, we were driving a rented Nissan Murano.  Both me a Raquita have taking a strong liking to this long, strange vehicle.  It's half SUV, half station wagon but it rides well, there's plenty of space and its the first car that Raquita genuinely has liked for awhile.  We need to get rid of the tracker (too light and slides to much on ANY kind of weather) and I had hoped to have it paid off for awhile but I guess we'll be trading it in soon.  But my baby tells me that I look good driving the Murano so maybe it IS time to trade up.  Might not happen for a few months but I'd like to get it before it starts snowing and icing this winter.

 

  I hate flying

    The flight home was terrible.  When I saw terrible, I mean to say karate kick to the nut sack, Ashanti Poetry, George Lucas Ep. 3 Dialogue, Mama stealing your lunch money for crack, terrible.  If I haven't mentioned this before I apologize; Our flight plan took us from St. Louis to CHARLOTTE, NC and from Charlotte to LA.  You read that right.  Fly to the east, fly way back to the west.  Well, we had the same flight plan coming back home.  But we left at 11:30pm Monday night and hopped on a 90 Degree, sweating, breathing, nasty human-packed, 4.5 hour flight to Charlotte.  I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think.  I asked for a bottle of water which turned to dust even as it hit my parched throat.  Cammy was just as uncomfortable and neither one of us got much sleep.  Which meant that Raquita didn't get much sleep. I wound up holding Cammy for most of the flight and we got on each other's nerves with all the tossing and turning but more on that later.  Whets that, dearest reader?  Why did I not ask for some air conditioning to be applied to our flying sauna?  Well, my pedigree chum, I did Just that!  But, shockingly enough,  I was rebuffed.  Apparently, when flying at 1am, it is a signal not of sleepy weariness but of impending hypothermia.  He informed me that he would 'See what I can do' which, apparently was absolutely zilch.  We got into Charlotte at 7am local time (4am LA time) and instead of waiting 1 hour we waited 2 because they apparently had no flight attendant and had to wake one up out of her bed and bring her in.  Then we got on the tiniest plane that still had turbine engines and flew (damn near glided) to ST. Louis.  I walked into my house at around noon on Tuesday, completely exhausted and dirty and funky and sweaty but I could not sleep.  Raquita and the baby?  Out like a damn light.  But when Raquita wakes up, she tells me something about the plane ride from LA (while telling her mother) that leads into the last part of the post...

 

Where's My Gun....Ignorance is bliss, sometimes...

    Before we left for LA, Sylvia (Raquita's super Auntie) had a premonition kind of  dream where she saw Camille after she got back from LA and Cammy seemed really different and quiet, and she Instinctively knew that Cammy had been molested.  She woke with a start and told both her sister (Raquita's mom Rhonda) and Raquita.  Raquita resolved to not let Cammy out of her sight or wander away during the trip.  I didn't have a problem with that and that's how the trip played out.  Nothing strange happened and there was no hint of weirdness so Raquita relaxed.  But when we got on the plane from LA to Charlotte and sat down (we were seated first cause we had the baby) apparently Raquita's mommy sense started tingling.  When a certain slimy seeming individual came on, Raquita said her bells went off and she thought to herself that the guy.  I have to watch that guy.'  I saw him when he got on too and he sat down right next to raquita (I had the window seat, he was at the isle) and I thought the guy seemed strange but didn't think much of it.  But during the flight, while cammy and I tried our best to get some sleep, Raquita noticed that this guy kept staring at Camille.  Raquita even looked at him twice and the guy looked up and smiled at her.  That's when Raquita placed Cammy in my lap and leaned forward to rest her head on the headrest of the seat in front of her, completely blocking this guys view.  Well, apparently that pissed him off because he stormed out of his seat to go to the bathroom and was gone for a good 45 minutes.  I remember him getting up abruptly but I didn't understand why.  If Raquita had told me about this on the plane, there would've been an incident.  Now, the guy didn't DO anything, but he seemed suspicious and Raquita was not about to let him get the chance.  I prolly woulda wound up getting thrown in jail for assault or something like that and booted from the plane in Charlotte. That's why I say Ignorance is bliss....what I should've said is my wife is Far FAAAAR wiser and smarter than I am and I'm so grateful to her for that.  Never forget that Evil, true evil, walks this earth, wears a human face and will smile the sweetest smile to your face while it sharpens that dagger for your back.  Always be vigilant and prayerful.

 

The Weekend cometh!  Prepare ye for the end is Nigh!

    This weekend we got some more hot, juicy poker action on Saturday night. This time we'll start earlier, I promise and I think we'll have the same players.  Grandma Dell might come but she keeps telling me that she doesn't really know how to play (Can you say Shark??  They don't call her Dell Big-Mama Breeland for nothin!) but I might convince her to at least come for the viddles.  And, we'll have our own cash this time so if(When) I win, I'll be able to keep my cash(well, minus what the house takes...house meaning Raquita...don't think I can win a pot and keep all of it...don't get it twisted...)

 

Anyways, might say more tomorrow, but I doubt it...

Have a great weekend and watch your back.

 

Benticore

Out

(Oh, forgive them for they know not whom the fuck wit...)

California Dreamin', The Last Scion, Car Envy, Where's my gun, I hate flying, Home at last...

Okay so I'm back.

This is just a teaser...I'll talk about all that crap later...raquita will too, I'm sure, and sooner than I will.

Fam is good and visited.  We visited the heck out my fam.

Cali is still Cali.  Lots of smog and silicon, traffic and tacos, beaches and bums.

Got lots of stories and lots of pics but now aint the time...maybe when I've gotten over the Jet Lag and exhaustion.

 

Just wanted to let you all know me and mines is doin fine.

 

Benticore

Out

 

Oh, and any time a 1300sq ft house goes for $500'000 in your area, yeah dog, your shit is overpriced...

The force is strong in this one...

    I wont bore you with recounts of this weekend's revelries which is had been reported in depth at www.raquita.blogspot.com (with Pictures too) except to say that, had we continued to play poker, both Raquita and her Pocket Aces-Having Father would've been beaten down, their once proud stacks of chips reduced to dust and tears.  There, I would've stood, victorious and gloating, $60 pride swelling like a ripe....like a ripe....  Well, you get the idea...we'll even ignore the fact that my father in law had to spot Raquita and me money for the buy in because we couldn't secure any cash (issue with bank cards...don't ask) so we were pretty much playing with his money.  But it was fun.  But that is not my point here today.

 

    So, I'm at work, diligently grinding away and I overhear on NPR about a bright new novelist named Helen Oyeyemi from London who's written a new novel called The Icarus Girl.  My interest piqued, I listened more closely.  The book (which sounds interesting and, from the excerpt that Helen read on the air, is very well written) is about a young, troubled girl who finds an imaginary friend on her family's interventionist trip to Niger and discovers that her new friend might not be as wonderful as she first thought.  I plan on checking it out and, if it's as good as I've heard, I'll take one of my golf clubs and beat myself silly with it.  She wrote the book in 7 months.  7 Months!! No, I'm not jealous...

 

    We took the Cammy to a place called LittleGym last night.  It's basically a indoor playground for kids, but with parental participation and friendly group structure.  The kids do all sorts of playing simple games and singing songs and physical activities like assisted summer salts and handle bar work and low balance beam stuff.  So we go in there and of course, Cammy is the only black kid there.  We get the usually stares and pointed non-stares and we ignore them.  Cammy, of course, goes up to each and every kid and talks at them.

    Well, when we get to the activities, Cammy is all over the place.  The kid is fearless.  She's not scared of strangers (as long as we're nearby) and she loves new activities.  She had the LittleGym teacher in stitches as she clapped and sang and played and gave her trademarkable giggle almost on cue.  What follows is an almost verbatim conversation Raquita had with a mother that night.

    Cammy - 'Whassat?'

    Raquita - 'Thats a mobile.  It's a hanging picture.'

    Cammy - 'CanIhaveit?'

    Raquita - 'No, sweetie.  That has to stay where it is.'

    Cammy - 'Oh' *Cammy wanders off...

    Mom #1 - 'Excuse me, did she just ask what that was and if she could have it?'

    Raquita - 'Yeah.  She's always asking that.  For her right now 'Can I have it' is the same as 'Can I see it''

    Mom #1 - 'Girls are just so much faster than boys, aren't they?'

 

    So at first I was like, okay I know my baby is smart but maybe its them female genes coming out in here that has her so advanced.  Then I saw her with the 15 month old baby girl that was there (cammy is 13 months)  Cammy literally was running circles around that poor child, who was sweet, but not too coordinated.  Sometimes, Cammy is so much more like a 2 year old than a 13 month old that it's scary.  But she's also the cutest thing since sliced bread so she doesn't generate the kind of enmity another child might.  She kicks your kids butt and then comes over and gives you a hug (which she actually did last night to a mom who's kid wasn't having a good time...simply amazing, this child is)

 

    We leave for LA at 7am tomorrow and have yet to secure transportation to the airport.  Packing is commencing and it should be a fun, if harrowing trip.  As long as they leave the horrid childhood nicknames behind, I wont have to gut family members like fish and put them up on stakes as warnings to the rest.  No, I'd never do that.....

 

    Benticore

    Out

What If...

      Possibly the two most powerful words in the English Language.  It's the father of 'What would happen if' and the mother of 'I wonder if' and it has been the question that sparked off so much beauty and horror in the history of humanity.  Every great inventor, writer, historian, athelete, any one who has done anything most likely started with those two words, if not physically spoken, then spoken with their actions, with their spirit.  The bible says in the beginning there was the word and the word was God.  Perhaps there were to words and God wondered 'What if...' 

 

      So, for the weekend, I ask that each and every one of you (yeah I know, I know, all three of you) take the time to ask you're own 'What If' question and seek your answer to it.  Hopefully you'll be richer for it. 

 

      Sugar Water this weekend: Erykah Badu, Jill Scott, Queen Latifah, and Floetry.  Should be a real good concert.  Sitting on teh lawn on a sunday evening with the fam, eating home cooked food, watching my daughter dance to the music.  Don't get much better than that, does it?  Oh don't hate... =0) 

 

 Benticore 

Out

Diction is everything...just ask Rummy-D

    The way you speak, the specific words you chose to convey a message can say as much about who you are and what you are trying to do as the actual message.  To wit: The Global War on Terror, first introduced after 9-11(The phrase, not the actual..uhm...war,  which is now firmly lodges in the American Lexicon which means so many things to so many people) is now not really in high favourability by our government.  You see when you use certain Fnords or words that are so laden with meaning that they jump right at the reader, those readers will have certain associations with those words that may or may not be intended.  War makes many people (at least Americans) envisage missiles striking buildings with pinpoint accuracy (thanks to all that lovely Government sponsored Desert Storm footage) and vague platoon movements through empty streets, laying down suppression fire and generally being badass.  For those who have military training or have family in the armed forces, the images are much different, and probably edged with pride and terror.  We won't even get into how different the word WAR becomes when you're from the Ukraine, or the Congo, or even Iraq or Palestine.

    Anyway, when people get the idea, as the gov't wished, that we are at WAR, they begin to wonder 'When will this war be over? Who are our allies and our enemies? How will we know we've won? What do we achieve with victory?'  The problem with a War on Terror is that Terror cannot be an enemy any more than Love, or Hate or Friendship can be an enemy.  It's an abstract concept, really a reaction to certain events.  It makes even LESS sense than the War on Drugs, which has been fought so ineptly and corrupted so thoroughly that you could replace War with Inroads and ON with For and not be too far off the mark.

    The administration has decided that it doesn't like to silly questions from the public whom it is serving like 'Are we winning the war?' or 'When will the war be over' or 'When the War is over, will we get our freedoms back?' and have now changed diction. 

 

    THE GLOBAL WAR ON TERROR has now been changed to THE GLOBAL STRUGGLE AGAINST VIOLENT EXTREMISTS

 

                            GWOT = GSAVE

 

    A war has a definite beginning and end, implies common sacrifices for common goals and has a specific enemy that must be defeated before victory can be achieved.  A struggle is ever lasting and a violent extremist could be anything from a hate-filled Jihadist with a bomb to a couple of angry teens protesting water too polluted to drink in Mexico.  Not only does the new jargon try to let the Govt off the hook, it gives legs to the Orwellian Ideal of Perpetual war, which means that your rights and freedoms are actually privileges the Gov't can revoke any time it feels the need.

 

    This is the Power of Words, The Power of Language.  Right now it's being used against the citizens of this country in a type of psychological warfare, like extreme propaganda.

 

    Behold and tremble...

 

 

    Benticore

    Out