Friday, April 29, 2005

In the beginning, there was the word...

So here I am, writing my first blog. I have to admit, firstly, that my foray into this medium is not spurred by some great sense of purpose, a desire to spill forth the sage wisdom I have accumulated through years of triumph and tribulation upon this mortal coil. Simply, I saw my fiance had one and I figured, what the we are....You comfy? Need a drink? No? How about a sensual massage? No?

Yeah, Like so many first dates, we stare at each other, neither one of us knowing what to say. you might be thinking to yourself, this guy is boring, I should leave. Or maybe, your wondering to yourself, he doesn't SEEM gay, why did he ask me, a hetero (or homo) sexual man out for a date. Or perhaps you've got 'Meow-meow-meow-meow' running in stereo loops through your head. I don't know. But I know this moment, where you don't know men and I sure as hell don't know you is awkward, so I'm going to do my part to fix it....right about......wait for it.....NOW.

My name is Jerry. Im a 28 year old technical writer in desperate need of a better job. I have a fiance (who started this damnable blog thing) and a daughter (Camille, who is, for lack of a less cheesy expression, the love of my life) and a dog (Nyla...silly mutt) and two cats (Tsunami, an old friend, and her daughter Butters, the dumb one). In the next two months I will be getting married, purchasing a house, celebrating my daughter's 1 year birthday, and slowly trying to climb out of the mountainous college debt I accrued in getting the degree I still DON'T HAVE!

I'm a rather portly fellow (when you say portly and fellow in the same sentence like that, doesn't Jolly just get implied?) of dusky hue and bespeckaled glance. Or I could have just sayed the fat black guy with glasses. Not too much to look at but not ugly either. You'll forgive me if you know this already or don't care. This is my Virgin post and Im trying to go slow.

Standard questions. I like to write, play guitar and piano, exercise and play sports (although I haven't done too much of that lately-see paragraph above) and dance with my daughter. I'm an avid hater of hypocrisy and am fairly anti-bush. That's for a whole other blog, though. I listen to all sorts of music, although Country isn't a big favorite, and most rap these days is so horrible, it's like pouring liquid rat poison in the ear. If it wasn't for the occasional catchy beat or Mos Def, Talib Kwali, Common and a couple of others, I'd have left the whole thing a long time ago. Damn those catchy beats!

Anyways, that's enough of this glorifying me. I think somewhere I have a place where I'm supposed to specifically talk about my mental and physical deficiencies, as opposed to the actual blog where I just talk about the emotional ones. I would like to leave you with this fun thought that should help you sleep all warm and cozy-like in your beds;

Today, G-Dub, our glorious Commander In Chief, had a press conference where he dropped the lil' bomb that our energy consumption was increasing 40 times faster than our energy production. The cure for this, his people say, isn't so much to decrease consumption, but to increase supply. A GREAT way to get energy is MORE NUCLEAR POWERPLANTS (unless your G-Dub himself, in which case its NUKULAR). We need more nuclear energy and nuclear waste, nevermind the fact that we dont know what to do with or how to properly store or protect the waste we already have. GOD, I love this administration. They've gotten so Orwellian nowadays, It's as if they're actually reading 1984 before they make policy decisions.

Oh yeah, the world is going to end in 2012, so if you're going to have that orgy and still want to get into heaven, you prolly should get started on that, amigo.




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