Saturday, December 31, 2005

The force is strong with this one...

Pictured here is the chain some random lady fished out of her purse when she saw cammy gesturing towards kid has Jedi mind powers....who just gives a random baby jewelry from their purse??

I'm screwed, aren't I?


Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Cammy and Anubis

Cammy and Anubis
Originally uploaded by raquita.
This is a pick of...well...I guess the title says that don't it? Dont get all smart now, mister, I was just trying to be friendly-like. But anyways, here's the two babies of the house. Cammy loves the Anubis and Anubis looks at Cammy like another puppy. We're still aclimating Anubis to the house so no training as such yet. They Do look cute together, dont they?

Benticore(Proud Daddy)

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Off the Donkey, boyo!

All hail Lord Anubis the chewer of all things near the floor! May his reign be peaceful and filled with treats and bones and naps!

Also, if you weren't able to partake of my wifes xmass dinner, you missed out on what will probably go down as the greatest feast the Henderson family has had the joy to was Off The Donkey for real.

I'm at Nobu's getting sushi for my baby. Peace and love, yall!


Will it freakin load?

Here is Anubis. Stupid pic didn't load before.

Will it freakin load?

Here is Anubis. Stupid pic didn't load before.

Off the Donkey, boyo!

All hail Lord Anubis the chewer of all things near the floor! May his reign be peaceful and filled with treats and bones and naps!

Also, if you weren't able to partake of my wifes xmass dinner, you missed out on what will probably go down as the greatest feast the Henderson family has had the joy to was Off The Donkey for real.

I'm at Nobu's getting sushi for my baby. Peace and love, yall!


Friday, December 23, 2005

On the night before the night before...

Somedays you get what you want and some days you get what you need. Every once in a long time what you want and what you need are at odds with one another even though both are firmly within your grasp.

Today isn't the greatest of days, being plagued by headaches and poor talks with spouses and parentals...sometimes the stress of the season can really get underneath your skin and the tongue can become viper-like, cutting anything that comes near it...its those times that one must remember what the true meaning of christmas is: family and love.

But FUCK is it hard some days!
I'm better now....Anubis arrives in about 4 hours...we're ready.

Have a blessed christmas!

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Lord Anubis approaches...

So tomorrow we go to pick up our new dog Anubis. Yes, that's right...our dog is named after the Egyptian god of the Underworld. I like it and I was able to get it past the sensors(the wife). I am very excited to get him and cannot wait till tomorrow! :-D

Also, I don't have to work tomorrow and next week my bosses are out of town...things are comin up Benticore today!

(best thing since sliced bread BUT you already know)

Monday, December 19, 2005

Headache? Tired? Miserable? Welcome to Monday!

My Mood is: Tired and Headachy but at work and suffering through it like a man with bills to pay

Now Playing: Greensleeves, A Charlie Brown Christmas; Vince Guaraldi Trio


Worried about your parents?

I am.  My dad is having issues.  My mom is sick.  Neither will talk to me at length on their problems or really let me help them, nor do I have any idea as to how I might because they won't tell me what's wrong.  So I have to sit back and try to get them to let me help and I pray for them.  That's how I started my weekend; with stress and worry battling prayer and the love of my wife and kid.  Daimushi called from Japan to console me but we didn't get to talk long because he had to go back to work, but I appreciate his call nonetheless.  Daimushi is a rare gem in a world full of cold metals and dull rocks.


Christmas Tree, O Christmas tree

We got our Christmas tree this weekend.  It's a live one and is very nice and smells wonderful.  It has been awhile since I've had a Christmas tree in the house and it was a great boon to the mood to have the pine-scented memories come flooding back to me as I wandered near it.  Cammy thinks the tree is okay, and was curious about why a tree was in our house, this being her first real Christmas since she was way too young to remember the first one.  We aint got lots of fancy shmancy ornaments but we got some lights, and we'll get the little colored ball ornaments and tinsel and all that crap this week.


Lion & Spear, still chuggin

I'm still working on the Lion & Spear novel.  Its not writing itself, much to my chagrin, so I've decided to sub in for the lazy bastard and throw down a few pages when I have time to get to it.  One of the things I've noticed about writing is it seems like (to me at least) a bike ride through hilly country.  Sometimes you go up a big steep hill and you have to work and pedal hard and it doesn't seem like you're making much progress and other times you're on level ground and it's decent progress and sometimes you come down hill and you just coast, not even needing to pedal really.  And then there are the times when you get blisters on your ass from sitting on that tiny seat that is just big enough to widen your crack.  Your multicolored spandex biker shorts are riding up and pinching you in sensitive areas and your tired.  So you pull off to the side of the road and you rest and you eat and you get that awful spandex wedgie out of your ass before it enters your colon.

            Well, Im at a place, writing, where I feel like I've come over the top of a medium hill and am now pedal along a straight away, a few twists and turns but nothing I cant handle.  It's a good place to be.


This week in the Lives of the Hendersons

This week there's no Gym for Cammy.  Last Wednesday she got an award for completing her class and next year will be moving up to the higher age group (18 months to 3 years and appropriately titled 'Beasties') so that should allow her to learn more from bigger kids that can challenge her and help her grow.  Maybe some bowling Wednesday, if we can get there before we start dropping like flies at 9pm.  Some last minute Christmas shopping and both me and the Missus is off on Friday.  I hope to avoid any shopping this weekend but I'm not sure how that will go.  I hope to write some and hit the gym often this week as well...Just need to wake up first *yawn*.


            OH! And let us not forget! SERENITY ON DVD ON TUESDAY!!!!!!  Best believe I'mma cop that son, word is bond!

Interesting Website of the Day: Neopets?

Ever hear of Neopets?  They're cute little computer animals that you take care of a train and then they...uhm...sit there....I guess... I don't know...Johns GF Shannon is into them and they are free to create and maintain.  If you were bored and wanted to try something new and pointless on the web, you could check them out HERE and see if you can Catch Em All....oh...sorry...wrong collectible cute cuddlie animal thing that battles other ones for the entertainment of their Masters.  I certainly wont be checking it out.  I CERTAINLY wont Create a Neopet and lavish him will all sorts of love and painful discipline.  Not me.  Never.




(Your firearms are too short to box with God...)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Well...I guess thats better then...ahem...

Mood: Intensely Focused (at least I was before I started this blog)

Now Playing: 'Prayer in Passing" - Rise, Anoushka Shankar


Well, turns out I wasn't so much paranoid as I was HUNGRY! It was creeping up on lunchtime after all.

So you can put down the Ketamine Darts and the blackjacks (you cant sneak up on me Daimushi!) and go back to your regularly scheduled programming.



Plus, my Flash lessons continue to go well.






Isolation...a study in Paranoia

My Mood: Irritated and nervous
Now Playing: Pres. Bush talking up the 'Road to Victory in
Iraq' on NPR

Somedays I feel really alone, the swirling images and thoughts in my head only serving to alienate me. Mostly I feel this way at work, a place where I am one of two black people and the only black male. I know I am overly sensitive to the small verbal and nonverbal cues people give (or don't) around me, and, over the years, I've honed my general narcissism into an acute sense of paranoia to the machinations of others. So sometimes I feel really under siege at work. This is stressful and doesn't engender me to want to spend any time with my co-workers outside of the 8-4 confines of my cubicle.

So I miss parties and functions and my co-workers interact with me a little less and I become a little more withdrawn, a little more suspicious that the soft susurrus of whispers behind cubicles are centered on me. Part of it has to also do with age. I am by far the youngest in the office, although there is another one who is just past 30. Besides him, everyone else is at least mid to late 40s, highly republican, and fairly Caucasian in their tastes. Which is fine. But sometimes I wish there was someone here to whom I could relate without feeling like my very opinions and thoughts would be interpreted as attacks on their moral high ground should I utter them. It is not an untenable position but it does generate the tight muscles in the neck every so often.

It's just me here. I'm alone. Most times it doesn't bother me. I'm the lone snowflake, as Daimushi would put it. I am the Lone Gaijin in the land of the dead, to mix genres, metaphors, and movie images. Most days I let it roll like water and sunshine off a ducks back and keep on strutting.

But somedays, I really feel it, a shrouding mist over my eyes, the expressive non-looks of co-workers, the invitations hastily offered because of proximity to a conversation.

On these days, it's a bit hard not to just take the day and do something I want to do.
Welcome to my Fortress of Solitude - A 7' X 10' cubicle surrounded by silence and stares and paper.
Welcome to my Paranoia.


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Undeniable proof of deniability...

Mood: Focused and eager

Now Playing: Freddy Freeloader - Miles Davis, Kind of Blue


So, early this morning, Stanley Williams was executed in California for the murder of 4 people about thirty years ago.  I don't know whether he was guilty or not; while he was convicted of the crime, there are plenty of black men in prison and on death row that are being held for crimes they didn't commit, and there are plenty who deserve to be right where they are.  That's not my point today.  My question is this:  At some point in the past, the incarceratory system we use in this country was decided to be not only a punishment for crimes done but a way to rehabilitate criminals and help them return to society as changed men and women who could contribute to the human endeavor with positive results.  If one takes a look at the late Mr. Williams deeds in the past several years, you might see his award for winning the Nobel Peace prize as well as his endeavors to halt the violence that the gang he himself created so long ago (the Crips) has perpetuated on inner city blacks in Los Angeles for years.  How does one judge rehabilitation?  How can you rule on a change of heart and its sincerity?  I'm sure Mr. Williams had no desire to die.  But was his conversion an act?  Was it the sign of a soul ready to come back to the life of American Society, healed and whole?  I don't know.  What do you think?


Also, the death penalty is a silly way to "Even the Score" with criminals.  He was convicted of murdering four people.  You can't kill him four times, nor can you bring back the lives of those he was convicted of taking.  I've heard the death penalty defended as a strong deterrent against crime, as well as lauded as means for the victims to get a sense of closure.  But how does having your child's killer bring any closure other than the fact that another person has been unwillingly shoved from our existence?  I'm not sure.  If something (God Forbid) happened to Cammy and I was asked how I wanted the man or woman responsible punished, I'm not sure I could make such a statement.  So much in our lives depends on the circumstances we find ourselves in at the moment we are asked to make that decision.  What do you think?


Filling the moments...

I just wanted to also mention that I'm working on Flash at work and its coming along pretty well and I'm happy with the pace I'm learning at.  Also, the novel, while put on hold for the moment, still fills my heart with joy at the prospects of finishing it and editing it.  I'm in love with the story.  The characters I'm beginning to like a little more and I have to be careful not to try and do too much too soon but I'm still pretty excited about it.  Also, I'm sexy today with my powder blue pinstripe shirt and broken glasses.  Just thought you should know.


Puppy Countdown...

I think we might be at like T-minus 15 days or so.  It's really contingent on when we move to Grandma's house which depends on when she moves to her daughters house and when we clean the place up and paint a little bit.  I'm excited about that too.  Also, I'm really sexy just have no idea....It's ridiculous...honestly, if I started to kiss my own hands, I wouldn't be too surprised.


Daimushi Updates...

I've heard from Daimushi after Hank visited him.  Apparently he's still recovering from the extreme partying and pimping he and Hank did to represent the Pantheon.  But he'll have tales to tell, my friends.  Many tales.  So we just gotta be calm and let him get his thing done.....




|Heard the bass ride out like an ancient mating call|

|I can't take it yall|

|I can feel the city breathing|

|Chest heaving against the flesh of the evening|

|Kiss the eyes goodbye|

|I'm on the last train leaving|

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Those red many are you supposed to take at one time? Don't look at me like that, Morpheus...

Okay, Im in a great mood and that scares me.


Not that its not okay to be in a great mood, its just that I'm a little Manic right now.  I made my own Bookmark and that made me so happy I nearly ripped the water fountain from it's foundation and threw it threw a window screaming out 'HDP, Fool!  WHAT!!'


So how do you know if you're manic?  I don't know...but the voices inside my head are telling me to change the subject...


You should watch Good Eats on Food Network, if you like cooking and are a little more interesting in the intellectual side of things, such as WHY things do the things they do when you immerse them in 375 degree vegetable oil and such.  Love that show.


Anywho, I'm going to start stabbing myself in the arm with a sharp pen to see if my blood evaporates on contact with air...that's what it feels like it's going to do today...Cheerio!




Respect my Gangsta

My new homemade bookmark...


Now that I can post pictures to my blog, I'm looking around my office like a crazed beast, trying to figure out what I can take pics of and mention...but there is least, nothing interesting...I need somebody to start a fire or get mauled by a bear or something....sigh....So not fair...working in an office with no bears or pyromaniacs... =0(




Because I can...

Really, honestly, this is just a little test to get the mobile blogging era started...figure I'd throw in a picture of lil miss cuteness in her Halloween best. Enjoy!

Monday, November 28, 2005

Sometimes it's the pain that makes you come back...

But Sir, the odds of you continually blogging successfully is approximately three thousand seven hundred and twenty to one!
All three of you that read this blog might wonder what was the cause of my lengthy hiatus from the blogosphere. I can tell you that it was nothing more serious than life itself. Uhm, not that I was in danger of ever losing mine (I dont think I was...the ninja are everywhere though so you never know) but I was just living it. Just living. But also, there was the few people who read and never comment...I was hoping I'd be able to discuss some things with people of similar interests and spark conversations deep and meaningful but I think I'm expecting too much of the medium. That's my fault. Im over that now. So. My apologies:

Moo moo...moo-moooo moo.


Turkey Day has come and gone but how I miss it so...
So my lovely wife Raquita made quite the spread for the thanksgivings day vittles. I mean, we ate like KINGS! Emperors!! Hedonistic Bastards, sucking the marrow from the bones of the holiday. It was GLORIOUS!!! And, blessed be, there were Leftovers!!!! She brined a turkey which involves a surpisingly complex process of soaking the bird in a few gallons of Salt water, vegetable broth and an array of spices. Then you bake the shit out of it. Then you Engorge yourself on it's succulent flesh. God, but that turkey was awesome. I wont even get into the OTHER stuff we had. It's We actually have a picture of the spread that I might post later on.

It's time to say it....Goodbye...Goodbye...
I had to get rid of my dog this weekend. Nyla was taking to the APA for adoption. Im sure she'll get adopted because she's a wonderful, beautiful dog. But we had to let her go. She was nervous around Cammy and then this weekend she tried to take our friends face off who foolishly tried to hug her. Now, normally you would think 'Why would the dog try to eat someone who hugs her?'. Well, Nyla had be nervous the past couple of weeks around everbody except for me. But I could just imagine if that had been Cammy and she had bitten her. I'd never been able to forgive myself. Ever. Nyla doesnt deserve that. She deserves a home where she can be happy. I think many people could give that to her. It still hurts but I know its the right thing to do.

Thats all for now cause the game is on and dinner is ready.
Thanks for listening. Or not.


Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The gleaming, spitting Mirror; The Neverending Work Week; Your Ho roscopes (Courtesy of The Onion)

      I saw Mirrormask last night with Tambora and Gikin.  I enjoyed it.  I thought the story was interesting, if traditional, and the main character had enough pluck to keep me from yawning.  The plot developed well and the visuals were intriguing and at times stunning but my earlier guess of it being Dali-Esque was fairly on-point.  Not a  bad thing but a little much at times.  The editing was strange...jumping from spot to spot at times rather hastily.  If you like the movie Labyrinth you will enjoy this one too.  And, to my inestimable relief, it is NOTHING like the story that I am currently writing.  It gave me some ideas about fleshing out my main character more, but they really aren't similar at all.  THAT made me almost weep in relief.


      This week seems to be dragging on and on and on....and a song on the radio that you wish you could fast forward to because you know something better is about to come on.  Why not change stations?  You do and they're all playing the same freakin song...not a horrible song but one you're tired of...Like a KEM song....Love Calls....not a bad song in and of itself but how many times have you Heard that bitch? week like That ' that chall....


      Oh and I jacked these from so if you wanna see some more hilarious stuff, go there...but I had to grab these cause they had me laughing on the floor.


Your Horoscope

October 12, 2005 | Issue 41*41

Aries March 21 - April 19

Most people are ignorant, dull, and impulsive, so even at your age, you should be able to find a spouse.

Taurus April 20 - May 20

The stars are becoming a little upset at your constant pestering about the future. Would it kill you to maybe loosen up a little and live for the moment?

Gemini May 21 - June 21

You would in fact leave for Canada right this minute if it didn't mean leaving the only nation on Earth with the vision to teach squirrels to water-ski.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Fad or not, the high-protein, meat-heavy diet thing seems to work for you, but that could be just part of the benefits of being a two-ton Kodiak bear.

Leo July 23 - August 22

Your life will become somewhat easier when you learn that money and food are often kept inside of those little cars you see parked here and there with the pizza signs affixed to their roofs.

Virgo August 23 - September 22

You've known since you were very young that you were different from all the others, but still, you find it maddening that they usually put the naked people where they are very difficult to watch.

Libra September 23 - October 23

You've never been afraid to try new things, at least not as such. You're afraid of the special Church-controlled hit squad that finds people trying new things and gives them two behind the ear.

Scorpio October 24 - November 21

You'll become a pariah and cast out from the company of decent people when it become clear that nothing will in fact change the way you look at tooth-whitening mouthwash forever.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

You're the one who knows where all the bodies are buried, but that's only because trucks arrive at all hours and bury bodies in your yard, and the truck drivers always make you sign for them.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19

While it may be true that the emperor has no clothes, you should have taken into consideration how remarkably well-clothed, and well-armed, all his bodyguards seem to be.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18

There's nothing holding you back from achieving your wildest dreams, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that stronger and more restrictive gun laws are badly needed.

Pisces February 19 - March 20

You always knew you'd be sent straight to Hell when your time came, but you never thought they'd make you go there in a tacky white Hummer limousine.






Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Good reason to start weining yourself off Meat...

On NPR today, Diane Rhem talked about Cloning animals for food production and how, while genetically modified crops were pretty much already in the American foodstream, Cloned meats would be coming soon.  While the meat and dairy industry are basically saying everything is hunky-dory, some people don't trust an industry that has the audacity to feed it's livestock the ground up sick animals it can't use (Matrix, anyone?).  But the thing that caught my ear was the fun fact that if and when (really just a matter of when) these meats and dairy come onto the market, there will be NO LABELING as to the fact that it came from genetically modified or cloned animals.  They say that you wont be able to tell the difference and you'll enjoy it just the same.  I just have to ask you, who do you trust?  The FDA?  The Meat Packing Industry?

            Maybe in the future, cloned meat will be the way to go.  But it has to be seriously evaluated and studied.  Something our culture isn't too keen on.


            Just passing through...enjoy your hamburger! =0)




Monday, October 10, 2005

I aint got nuttin to say...

      I lied.

      I have plenty to say.

      When do I NOT have something to say?

      But today, I'd like to observe a moment of silence.


      Thank you.




(With every worthless word we get more far away)


Saturday, October 01, 2005

Little Dogs, New Toys, Crashing Ships, and a list at the Silver Screen...

This weekend already looks to be interesting. First
of all, there has been a new and,
TEMPORARY addition to the family. As we (me and the
missus) was drivin along on Airport road, she leans to
me and says, 'Oh what a cute puppy.' To which I,
suffering from a horrible migraine and slouching in
the passenger seat ask, 'What dog?'. 'Wanna turn
around and see it?' she asks me? I nod and we turn
around. What we find is a little baby pit bull, the
color of light and milk chocolate, like a chocolate
cow might look. The poor thing can't be more than 6
months old and is horribly malnurished. No collar,
and rooting around for food. None of the neighbors or
people around seem to know who's dog it is but admit
to seeing her running around, going through garbage.
Me and the missus debate about whether or not to take
her to the vet or leave her there. Then, when my wife
picks her up, the little pooch kisses her. She's
really a sweet puppy, if totally NOT housebroker and
very loving. The minute the dog, licked her face, she
couldn't say no. Wow...never thought I'd be typing
THAT in my blog...

I got my new phone yesterday (uh...yesterday being
wednesday because it's still friday and I dont count
friday because I had a headache. Anyway, I got me a
grand spankin new Treo 650, with all the bells and
whistles and what not. Its a pretty good phone, all
to be told, although it is a bit quiet when Im
talking. So I got my new Celly...with new
digits....for those that want em, holla atcha boy and
I'll come up on them digits.

Saw Serenity Tonight. I liked it a lot. I was close
to loving it until near the end when....wait, I dont
want to spoil it for those who've see it, but lets
just say, people die, not the people you think Will
die, and this may or may not fuck up your whole night.
But still, I liked the movie alot and am glad that
Whedon was able to make his vision come true. How
good would Firefly have been in 4 seasons? Who knows.
It never got a fair shake. Mores the pity...but that
brings me to one point I noticed whilst perveying the
previews; There are a shitload of hot new movies
comign out this fall and winter. I mean, movies that
could have conceivably come out this summer to make
the summer movie season not suck so much donkey

Lets see, on the short list of movies I'm going to see
are; Chronicles of Narnia, the
full trailer. I just gotta read The Lion the Witch
and the Wardrobe again cause its been like 15 years.
I dont remember shit about that thing. Seriously.
Nothing. There was a lion....uh...and a witch....and
a closet with clothes in it. Maybe. What else...oh
yeah, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, of course.
Jarhead, which is a movie adaptation of a book, which
I havent read but heard about on NPR and thought it
sounded really good. Jake Ghlynynyhl or however you
spell his damn name, and Jamie Fox. And some other
people I dont care to recall. What else. Oh yes, who
can forget Mirrormask, the movie that Neil Fucking
Gaiman plucked out of my soul and made into a full
motion Dali painting on steroids. I love Neil Gaiman,
and Im just jealous. What else. A Scanner
Darkly....Keanu being Neo, but drawn instead of
overacted. But probably overacted anyway...more
Phillip K. Dick for dat ass. Those are just a few.
There are more that I MIGHT see in the theater, but
most likely am just frontin like a punk now and when I
think about spending the dough to see the flick when
it comes out, will awkwardly make an excuse and walk
the other way.

Long Post, I dont care.
PokerNight tomorrow (Later today, really) IF people
show up. Stupid people dont want to lose their money
to me.
Vet tomorrow for the new dog my wife has taken to call
Puddin. *Shrug* We'll see what the vet says about
her health.

I'm going to bed...I'd talk to you more but then I'd
have to fall asleep.

'If I'm not back in five minutes and you haven't heard
from me, you take this ship and you come and rescue
me. I mean that. I'm not getting left behind.'
Malcolm Reynolds, Serenity

Friday, September 23, 2005

Because it is the Image of ourselves that we strive for, the rea lity comes second

This is an excerpt from Kozol's website where he talks about the outdated texts in the schools he had to teach in.  He brings up the point that this shows just how unequal the schools really were because, as he points out in the end, if schools were equal, wouldn't black have been beautiful.  But I take it in a different way;  Some of the most long lasting ideas that we have about ourselves are formed in school and molded by the opinions of the people we respect and encounter along the way such as parents, teachers and fellow students and peers.  By giving so many black kids such negative images of themselves, many are taught that the best they can ever hope for is being as bad as the expectations around them.  How do you fight back and survive when everything is arrayed against you, INCLUDING YOUR OWN SELF IMAGE?  You dont.  You cant.  Some do, and they are extraordinary people.  Imagine what they could have achieved if they had not needed to fight so hard to think of themselves as normal.
Kozol taught in a classroom in 1965 with textbooks so old that the newest one had been printed in the early 1950s. Often there were not enough to go around. They were filled with out of date facts, theories, and descriptions. One geography book had this description of Africans: "The black people who live on this great continent of Africa were afraid of the first white men who came to explore their land. They ran and hid from them in the dark jungle. They shot poisoned arrows from behind the thick bushes. They were savage and uncivilized."

The description continues with: "Yumbu and Minko are a black boy and a black girl who live in this jungle village. Their skins are of so dark a brown color that they look almost black. Their noses are large and flat. Their lips are thick. Their eyes are black and shining, and their hair is so curly that it seems like wool. THEY ARE NEGROES AND THEY BELONG TO THE BLACK RACE."

It is obvious from these two passages that the author looks down on Africans. Yet this book was once standard issue in the Boston Public Schools. This is not allowing everyone a fair chance. This is subjugating the African-American students before they are even old enough to think for themselves. The system breeds discrimination. If African-American children were given an equal chance, Kozol argues, then why wouldn't black be beautiful?


And the disease still spreads...

I cannot Stress how near and dear to my heart this is.  If you are in the struggle, let me know.  If you know how to get involved, pass it on.  This is a passage from the interview of Jonathan Kozol, Author of The Shame of a Nation.  It's all right there...I added the Emphasis.
Everyone who has read the book has said that is the story that made them cry. Mireya wanted to go to Boston University. She was eloquent, and her teachers said she was perfectly capable of going to a first-rate university. She said the school had made her take sewing the previous year, and when I spoke with her, they were going to make her take hairdressing. This was a school of 5,000 kids in South Central Los Angeles, with hardly a white kid in the school. Now, it turns out hairdressing and sewing weren't exactly required, but that students were expected to take two classes in what were called "the technical arts." But whereas at Beverly Hills High School that requirement could be filled by taking a class in residential architecture, computer graphics or broadcast journalism - things that perhaps have some relevance to college preparation. At Freemont the choices were sewing and hairdressing. Mireya cried and said to me, "I don't need to sew; my mother's a seamstress in a sewing factory." That's when a terrific student, Fortino - he reminded me of a sort of Latino Malcolm X, because he had this look of cynical intelligence in his eyes - said to her, "The owners of the sewing factories need workers, don't they?" And she said, "Well, I guess they do." And he said, "They're not going to hire their own kids for those jobs." Another student naively said, "Why not?" And Mireya said, "Because they can grow beyond themselves, but we remain the same." To me that was the most moving bit of dialogue in the whole book.
In the end, one could consider the deep seated levels of racism and segregation in this country as a way to keep all minorities the same; ignorant, uneducated, leaderless, poor, and indebted.

Shame of a nation...

Check Here for an interesting interview of Author Jonathan Kozol, the author a new book Shame of a Nation in which he postulates that America is an Apartheid state where the segregation of schools is so deeply ingrained across the country that it is a part of life.  If any of you have read this book, let me know about it.  Coming from the other side, as a parent of a small child gearing up for school in a couple years, I look at the absolutely miserable state our (St. Louis) city public schools are in compared with the county and I want to weep.  The question to ask me is, 'Are you going to send Cammy to a public school?'  My immediate answer is, pardon the french, 'FUCK NAW!'  Then you follow up, and rightly so, with the question, 'But how will the schools get any better if all the best and brightest opt out of the system and go private?'  To which I heatedly and sadly reply, 'I understand the problem but my Daughter will NOT BE SACRIFICED ON THE ALTAR OF PUBLIC SCHOOL IMPROVEMENT!'  So I short-change my daughter's future for an ideal??  How many other parents with the means face this question and decide how I do?  How many more parents arent even given the choice.
What about the schools?  Education is the biggest ticket there is for working class poor to rise to a higher level of prosperity and wealth.  Ive even heard arguments from some black thinkers that official Segregation was better in a way simply because we had to rely on ourselves and we were able to allocate the resources we had to improve our schools and our neighborhoods and what not.  Im not conversant enough in that idea to even discuss my opinions on it fully but it is interesting none the less.  What do YOU think?  Comment and let me know.  It is such a necessary conversation to have, not only for parents and teachers, but for communities, both white and black and latino.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Cause it's like that...

This is from an article posted on the GNN Network which is a good place to get yourself real pissed off.  But here, just a good view of the though processes of our nations policymakers about drugs and our War on Drugs...Enjoy! =0)
"Most marijuana smokers are Negroes, Hispanics, jazz musicians, and entertainers. Their satanic music is driven by marijuana, and marijuana smoking by white women makes them want to seek sexual relations with Negroes, entertainers, and others. It is a drug that causes insanity, criminality, and death - the most violence-causing drug in the history of mankind."
Harry J. Anslinger (1892-1975), first Commissioner of the U.S. Federal Bureau of Narcotics, widely considered the first United States "drug czar"

"What really drives the battle against law enforcement and punishment is not a commitment to treatment, but the widely held view that, first, we are imprisoning too many people for merely possessing illegal drugs; second, drug and other criminal sentences are too long and harsh, and third, the criminal justice system is unjustly punishing young black men. These are among the great urban myths of our time.
The idea that our prisons are filled with people whose only offense was possession of an illegal drug is utter fantasy."

John P. Walters, Director (Drug Czar) - White House Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Why I love her so much...even when she doesn't flap...

The following is a conversation my beloved Mielita and I had today.  The weirder I get, the more unflappable she becomes...although every now and again I'd wish she'd flap but mostly I'm in awe of her no-flapping policies and her ability to stick to them in the face of horrific wierdness and toxic levels of nerdosity. 
Raquita: did you take your meds this morning 
Benticore: uhhh...
Raquita: what you mean uhhhh?!?!?!
Benticore: I didnt NOT take them...
Raquita: Didn't not?
Benticore: In theory, if everything is energy on differing wavelengths, then the only difference between solid objects and air is the frequencey in which the object vibrates.  Futhermore, if all energy vibrates at certain frequencies, one would postulate that thought represents energy.  By thinking, we create energy that is different from the everyday objects that surround us only in vibrational frequency.  This morning, I thought about taking my pills.  From an energistic standpoint, I DID take my pills.  The energy formations and vibrations may not have been on a level that you could detect but one cannot deny existence of a thing simply because one cannot see the thing in front of them.  The question of whether or not I physically ingested the pill is irrevelant.  In energistic frequencies, all manner of tasks have been accomplished, their results measured and calculated, props and daps distributed accordingly.  So you see, when I state that I didnt NOT take the pill, all may be elucidated and verifies under simple scientific reasoning.   So NYAH! 
Raquita: about no
Benticore: I put forth a valid scientifically based argument and all you can say is about no??  I blame the schools, racial bias, gender inequality and George Bush.  You should strive for more erudition in your attempts to refute my devastatingly ingenious theorums and hypotheses 
Raquita:  :P
Benticore: sigh...Im such a nerd.... 
Raquita: but I love your nerdyness more than you will ever know and if I wasn't listening to lecture I'd have wrote back more 

Friday, September 09, 2005

Welcome to the Police States of America! Papers please...

 Welcome to the New state of things.  This happened today amid tons of Katrina coverage and government blustering.  What this means to the future of dissent in this country is downright terrifying.  I cant think of a worse thing to happen to 'America', the idea and dream of what it could be.  Keep your eyes open.

RICHMOND, Va. - A federal appeals court Friday sided with the Bush administration and reversed a judge's order that the government either charge or free "dirty bomb" suspect Jose Padilla.

The three-judge panel of the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled unanimously that the president has the authority to detain a U.S. citizen closely associated with al-Qaida.

"The exceedingly important question before us is whether the President of the United States possesses the authority to detain militarily a citizen of this country who is closely associated with al Qaeda, an entity with which the United States is at war," Judge Michael Luttig wrote. "We conclude that the President does possess such authority."

A federal judge in South Carolina had ruled in March that the government cannot hold Padilla indefinitely as an "enemy combatant," a designation President Bush gave him in 2002. The government views Padilla as a militant who planned attacks on the United States.

Broader implications for America
Padilla's attorney said his client would probably appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, adding that the 4th Circuit's decision could have grave implications for all Americans.

"It's a matter of how paranoid you are," Andrew Patel said. "What it could mean is that the president conceivably could sign a piece of paper when he has hearsay information that somebody has done something he doesn't like and send them to jail - without a hearing (or) a trial."

The administration has said Padilla, a former Chicago gang member, sought to blow up hotels and apartment buildings in the United States and planned an attack with a "dirty bomb" radiological device.

Padilla was arrested at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport in 2002 after returning from Pakistan. The federal government has said he was trained in weapons and explosives by members of al-Qaida.

Padilla, now in a military prison in Charleston, S.C., has been in custody for more than three years.

Padilla first released last October
Padilla, a New York-born convert to Islam, is one of only two U.S. citizens designated as enemy combatants. The second, Louisiana native Yaser Hamdi, was released last October after the Justice Department said he no longer posed a threat to the United States and no longer had any intelligence value.

Hamdi, who was captured on the battlefield in Afghanistan in 2001, gave up his American citizenship and returned to his family in Saudi Arabia as a condition of his release.

Luttig, who has been mentioned as a possible candidate for the U.S. Supreme Court, was joined in his opinion by Judges M. Blane Michael and William B. Traxler Jr.

© 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

George Bush doesn't care about black people...

Kanye West uttered those words on National TV Friday (NBC) and, amoung most black people, uttered a fact that has been blatantly obvious for years.  I heard Obama talk about Kanye's point, shift it, and polish it until it shined with a health PC glow, saying the Bush doesnt have much sympathy for the economically challeneged.  I'd put the two together.
Here are a couple of things I've been hearing through the media that have made my eye twitch...
Dont use the word Refugees on Americans cause we don't like the image it evokes...
I've heard this stated a lot of different ways in a lot of different media channels in the past few days.  All I can say, as I shake my head in disbelief is 'Are you fucking serious?'  I can understand why this might offend or disturb delicate American self-images, the 'Pull up the boot-straps, Can-Do' American Gusto still a thick veil pulled over the eyes of the priveleged as they gaze upon the 'Lazy, unmotivated poor'.  But there are a lot of things that America as a country does that doesn't offend simply because we aren't forced to deal with it.  Calling them refugees is technically correct and, more importantly shoves the whole ugly mess right under our noses where it's stench cannot be ignored.
What made Nawlins so special was it's mixture of cultures where you had the French quarter right next to the less well off.  If they rebuild, they might not keep the same mix that made the place so great.
Am I losing my mind or did you just tell me that the reason why you love New Orleans so much is because you can mingle with the ridiculously poor and downtrodden black populace that rings the city but not have to actually care who they are or what they do?  I wonder if the hundreds of thousands of poor bastards that have fled the city really thought it was so charming, seeing their abject poverty shoved in their faces time and time again by a partying touring populace.  Maybe I'm wrong.  It just made my eye twitch.
Thats all for now, I promise there's more

Friday, September 02, 2005

Hell on Earth, it's bricks laid by our own hands...

Katrina...back when Bill 'He's black enough' Clinton was in office, some of the right winded among us wondered if a less than high moraled woman (who really was just pimped by a Tripp) would bring down the presidency.  Now we know that it is Katrina that has ripped the facade of America off of it's rotting infrastructure to reveal how badly we've become, as a nation, as a society, as a bunch of people living in the same geographical region.  I pray that Katrina will represent a paradigm shift in the thinking ways of Americans but I also pray that the costs wont weigh so heavily on the poor, the downtrodden and mostly black population.

There are numerous things to think about and pray about when it comes to this Devastation.  New Orleans comes first to mind, more so because I'm a city person and thats my sister city (St. Louis).  So many poor black people there left to fend for themselves, demonized as looters, attacked by gangs and ignored by the National Gaurd.  But thats just the city.  It gets most of the press...I got an aunt down near Biloxi.  The country side, the rural areas.  I can't even fathom the dead, the dying, the hunger, the thirst.  That anyboyd, ANYBODY should die of thirst in this country speaks volumes about our attitudes towards the poor and the depth of racism and bigotry still thriving in ALL parts of this country.  My wife went from Angry (she saw the AP pictures of the black kid 'Looting' a store for food and a white couple "Finding" food in a store and nearly lost her mind...I cant blame her) to despair at her inability to help.  Go to to see the juxtaposed pictures for yourselves.  People who loot TVs are crazy when they live in a city that wont have power for 3 months...but people looting grocery stores and pharmacies are doing what they have to to survive.  If a bunch of people break into a fast food joint, chances are they're doing so to may cook some food, find something to eat.  That there are reports that people are being turned away at gunpoint by the National Gaurd just serves to worse the sitch.

Send money to Red Cross, or United Way.  That will help.  But will it be in time?  If you believe that America can be a great, wonderful place, or if you think that it should at least be a fair place, do some research, as heartbreaking as it may be, discover the cold, hard, ugly facts that both political parties are equally to blame for leaving us in this state and we, The People, are even more to blame for letting them, and make some decisions.  Start thinking about a world were food prices double and triple because gas is so expensive, where state funding for social programs is cut back even more as the war in Iraq deteriorates into Civil War and the government spends more money on policing its poor than feeding them.  Start thinking long range about the way our world is going to change and how we must change with it or die underneath it.

It's hard.  It hurts, and nobody wants to think about a future that might very well be much worse than what we can imagine, promises from a futile, co-opted government notwithstanding.  But please.  Think, plan, be prayerful, be vigilant and be ready.

(God gave us free will so we could save each other...)

Monday, August 29, 2005

Pud'n, do you know what tough love is?

Relatively uneventful weekend.  Had some a poet in from London who did the local spots and shared in some home cooked viddles.  Spent some time on the computer indulging in my WOW addiction...prolly too much time.  Cooked and cleaned and cleaned and cooked.  Aside from that, it was a pretty laid back weekend...
Didnt have the poker night, which I explained to Super Joe, was probably a good think since this way he'd have enough moeny to buy gas and get home.  The man studies the game and still can't beat me.  Sometimes you just got to have it.  Whats that?  The Skillz, be they Ill, Sick, Crazy, Dope or otherwise.
Daimushi, if you don't post soon, I will come over there and sodomize you with a get to it!
(...Cause sometimes love hurts...and I love you Alot, Pudn...)

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Whats this? Might be interesting...

Hey, I was tooling around on the web a few days ago and I saw an interesting Blog at which seems like it might be an interesting read. Check it out.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

A Mi Mielita, luz de mi alma. Soy siempre agradecido para su amo r

This morning, born
like all other mornings
was different; I held her
Our tired, sleep-dusty bodies
leaned against one another
like old homes.
On this morning, I whispered
into her neck - Every morning
should begin like this, in each
others arms, my lips on your
warm collar bone, we steepled
together against the moments
we are forced apart.
I whispered kisses onto her skin
felt the ache of another day
outside of my arms push
against my lips.
She stayed silent drawing me
close, repeating 'Every day should
begin like this' with her arms, draping
them across my whip-scarred back.
She traces incantations against despair
with her fingers, scratching through
tired morning fog to reach my scalp and
sign my thoughts, binding them to her.
Every day should begin like this,
steeled against the great injustice
of morning, of the exile from forever
in your embrace.  Instead most
days bloom and wilt unnoticed, tastes
unremembered through the hazy gaze
of memory.  But I am thankful, that our
last days lay far ahead, around a wooded
bend and out of sight.  There is still time to
stamp our hard mark on each day, each
morning in each other's arms a monument,
a flower bloomed and touched.
Each day should begin like this.
My prayers are that most will.
I love you, today, yesterday, and tomorrow, but especially right now, which never leaves and was always here...

Friday, August 19, 2005

Oookay did you miss me?

Okay so I lied about not posting for awhile but my mood just lightened and I have one incredible human phenomenon to thank...

Aren't you glad laughter is contagious?
Because it is. Whenever you hear somebody laughing, I mean really busting a gut, tears pouring from their eyes, barely able to catch their breathe, bent over for the hilarity of it all, it makes you smile a little bit and maybe even chuckle, wondering what could be so funny. Thats what happened at work today when two ladies started laughing like that and finished ten minutes later, out of breathe and surrounded by chuckling, curious onlookers. I never figured out what was so funny but that much laughter and smiles helped me to crack my fairly grumpy mood. In fact, in africa, a case of giggles got so out of hand at a school that it spread like wildfire through the whole student body, many of them having to be admitted to the hospital for observation. They just could not stop laughing. Somedays, that doesnt sound all that bad...


The Ghost on the Black and Whites...

Thats not the point of this post but just something to stick in your memory over the weekend, something to mull over idly while you pull into your drive way from an exhausting week at work, something to try and ignore while you search in vain for the tidbits not ruined in your refridgerator that will comprise your next meal.  The Ghost on the Black and Whites. Actually it seems fairly self-explanatory to me.  But enough of that...on to the post, which is more of a motto for the day.
The Motto for today, kids, is: Let it Roll...
Let it roll.  Think water, duck's backs, gravity, and the way they all tend to intermingle unsatisfyingly.  Some days, you just have to let it roll.  The blind old woman pushing the SUV cuts you off and nearly runs you into a concrete median?  Let it roll.  Sure, you could get mad, screaming and cursing and honking your horn and making obscenities.  You could follow the old woman to her destination whereupon you unleash your Louisville Slugger signed by Terry Pendleton from the backseat of your car and prepare her bumper and tail lights for a very special episode of 'Pimp your Ride'.  You could even go 'gangsta' on the old lady when she yells at you, getting in her face and snarling like a wild beast, daring her to do anything but to submit to the righteous rage and power of black man wronged by society in general and old ladies like her specifically.  Yeah, you could go through all that, but where would that leave you?  You'd get back into your car, still, mad, still fuming, and instead of being able to go about your day, you would relive it, over and over, wondering how you lost your cool, praying that neither she, nor the people who stopped and gaped at you in horror had cell phones with cameras on them.  The scene would haunt you all day, and, instead of making you feel better, would probably ruin the rest of your week, especially when the police gave you a little call to tell you to come downtown to talk to them for a little bit.
    Not that any of that happened to me, mind you, I was just illustrating a point.  Sure, it's been a fairly yuck day, and sure I'm hungry and tired and frustrated and lonely and antsy.  But do I complain?  Not this  soldier...well...not till just now, anyway... I'm trying to just let it roll.  Let it Roll.  Stress is a killer and It's almost the weekend.  What do I have to complain about?  Well, aside from all that stuff, above....Just Let It Roll...
    The end is nigh...
    This will probably be my last post for awhile.  I keep hearing that people read my blog all the time but get mad when I dont respond but the only way I know anybody has even been through this tumbleweed infested podunk of a website is when they leave a comment.  So do your part and leave a comment so that I know that you were here.  Hey, maybe I'll come to your sight and grace it with my presence and leave you a word or two of wisdom.  Maybe You are that lucky?
Have a good weekend and remember...Let It Roll...