Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Beyond Beautiful

I wrote this some time ago for the wife and posted it on Urbis last week to fairly positive reviews.  I figured Id put it up here so that those who might want to read it can do so.  Let me know what you think.  It's going to be rewritten but that might take a minute.


Beyond Beauty


You are not beautiful.

The word is a weak thing

That can't carry your weight

Can't Encompass your strength.

Beauty is for teams of makeup artists

Snoop Dogg hooks, Teen-crushing

Grocery Mags and bland

Romance novels.

Beautiful is not real; beautiful is not every day;

The word is a curse and a mirage,

Branded like cattle, sold like wrapping paper.

Beautiful is the plastic ideal born gurgling

From huge Coca-Cola vats in Mexico and

Gap Sweat Shops in China.

And you are none of these things.

Beautiful can't show that smolder in your eye

When you glance at me.

Beauty can't taste the millions of tears uncried

That dried on the corners of your mouth.

Beautiful can't cover your back, long enough

To carry the weight of Nefertiti and Rosa and Camille

But strong enough to never bend.

Beautiful can't wrap me in arms

Longer than my imagination,

Reaching across two bad jobs and a

Grinding commute to

Encircle my chest, to give me strength and a

Longing for home I cannot ignore.

Beautiful can't make me strive to be

Better than I am now, can't make me thankful

For the blessing of you that God

Placed into my life.

Beautiful turns to ashes in my mouth when

I look at you, when I wrap you in my arms

And listen to you breathe.

Beautiful is not what you are, and yet you possess beauty.

But it is a small drop in the deep ocean that resides

Within you, lapping at the peanut butter beach that

Is your skin.  I can hear forever when we make love

And your body slides across mine.

You are beyond beautiful, stronger and more exquisite

Than any word can bear witness to.

Maybe one day,

I will find the word that covers you from head

To toe in the finest of ethereal thread, sparkles

Your magnificence for all the world to see.

But until then, I will enjoy the reality of

Your lips and your arms and your spirit and

Pain and strength and be overjoyed because

You are Beyond Beautiful and

You are with me.





Thursday, April 20, 2006

5 minutes with Jerry

5 minutes with Jerry

5 minutes with Jerry (Benticore/Aeshema are two of several alter-egos)

If money didn't matter what would you do with your life? Write and travel and teach my daughter that this world is filled with wonder.

What's the biggest misconception about you? That everything you see is everything you get.

Beauty or brains? There are few things more beautiful than intelligence, but dammit, the package needs to at least be okay.

What is your weapon of choice? Lightning Wit, A crushing vocabulary and a madman's vision of the universe just beneath this one.

Who was your first celebrity crush?Chaka Khan.  The breasts...I aint gonna lie...I was a breast-lover from the GIT GO...

What's your family's nickname for you? J.  Raquita calls me that.  She almost never calls me Jerry.

What is your most embarrassing guilty pleasure? Listening to the sounds my wife makes when I put my lips on her.  Seems like a cop-out but if you knew how much I craved it, you'd understand.  I don't know if it's healthy to be addicted to that sort of thing, is it?

What's the last book you've read? The last book I FINISHED was Memoirs of a Geisha.  Im reading The hero with 1000 faces by Joseph Campbell.

Name one thing that scares you? Failing my family.
What's the biggest mistake you've made? Not understanding where my father was in his relationship with his wife (not my mother) while I was applying for college.  If I had known then what I know now, I would've gone someplace cheaper and not believed my father when he said he could handle the school debt with me.

Who would you cast to play you in a movie about you? ME.  I can act.  I got skills.  Seriously...I've even got a monologue...And now the sun sets on our fair city but where does our hero....hello?....hello???

If you ran for President of the United States, who would be your running mate? Adam McBrady.  Who else?  Tambora would be my Secretary of State, Justin would be my Secretary of Defense, Mooney would be the Head of Intelligence and Homeland Security.  And the 1st lady would have extended privileges.

Who is your favorite TV mom? Claire Huxtable...hands down...the lady had class, style, sexiness, intelligence, wit, charm, kindness, and a $100K/year Job!!!  AND the time to have 6 kids!!  And shes STILL Fine

What's the fastest way to pick a fight with you? Tell me Im being Negative when I'm trying to look at things from every angle.  I know I can get negative some times but just bring up the positive.  Oh, and yell at me.  Just start yelling.  That makes me angry but I have been trained to not yell back.  But make no mistake.  I am not happy.

If you could tell one person to shut up, who would it be? I got a nice long list...in fact, lets go BULLET FORM, kids!

  • Rappers who talk about bitches this and hoes that and nigga this and twerk that, then in the same breath say they love they mama, they love Jesus, and that they respect women.  SHUT THE FUCK UP!
  • People who voted for Bush and are now surprised at his intentions to go into Iran.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  SHUT THE FUCK UP!
  • People who don't listen to the news, read papers, go on internet sites, or generally do any sort of quick research about the geo-political climate of the age we're living in and then have the fucking balls to talk to ME about THEIR lame-ass opinions and get mad when I don't agree.  SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
  • News organizations that will, in an effort to be fair and balanced, broadcast to you the pundits who scream up and down that the sky is NOT blue but is in fact Yellow and that you are a Godless, Commie, Liberal, Gay-Loving Bastard who would sooner Rape Jesus as Talk to him.  ARE YOU INSANE?!?! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
  • RAPPERS whose mouths are full with more hardware than Fort Knox.  If you can conduct lossless electricity through your fucking teeth you cant talk to me.  No.  Seriously.  SHUT THE FUCK UP!
  • People who put Support the Troops stickers on their giant SUV's. SHUT THE FUCK UP!
  • People who would rather complain about shit non-stop instead of a) Seeing the bright side of things and moving on or b) doing the things they can to bring about change or maybe even c) stoically take that shit like a grown ass person and keep rolling.  If you cant do any of the above, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

    Who would you die for? My wife, my child.

    Name one celebrity whom you would never procreate under any circumstances? Under ANY circumstances? Hmmm...1st to mind is Whitney Houston but that's kind of a given, isn't it?

    It would be an honor if some said my writing/poetry reminded them of: Nobody they have ever read before.  I Want my own unique voice to be appreciated own its own merit.

    Name one sex act you would never perform if you were the opposite sex? Donkey Punch.  Thats not something I would perform as much as have it happen to me but if I was a chick I'd keep a loaded shotgun with 'I've got your fucking Donkey Punch Right HERE' branded on the stock.

    Would you ever pose for Playgirl/Playboy? Well, Playgirl is really for gay men so that's a no.  If I was a hot chick I might do Playboy.  Its pretty tame as far as those things go.

When was the last time you cried? At Uncle Sonny's Funeral.  I didn't cry for Sonny though because he lived an extremely full life, even though he was taken so suddenly from us.  I cried for
Brandon, his son.  And for me because I could see myself in the future, sitting where he was sitting, mourning my own father.

What's the greatest personal tragedy you've ever experienced? My father's marriage and subsequent breakdown.

Complete this sentence: By this time next year______________. I will be 50 lbs lighter, taking guitar lessons, speaking better Japanese, teaching Cammy how to ride a bike, and EITHER taking care of a pregnant wife or a new puppy.






Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The quote of the day is...

Speaking on THIS article detailing a possible plan of attack against Iran;


'...nuking someone to make sure they don't get nukes, as our contingency plans delineate, is like a priest threatening to fuck you until you're celibate. INSANITY, AND HYPOCRISY.' - ShayanMizra


That just tickled me enough for me to share.


I'm working late and have a shit-ton of work to do the next month so you might not see me.  But know that I'm safe, loved, and still keeping the Pimp-hand strong.




Thursday, April 06, 2006

Cause thats how it is today...

Recovering from a Migrane that made me partially blind for most of the morning, I felt it appropriate to leave you with some Hip Hop Scripture.


It takes Two, Rob Base, 3rd Stanza


I stand alone, don't need anyone
'Cause I'm Rob, just came ot have fun
Don't need friends that act like foes
'Cause I'm Rob Base, the one who knows
About things that make ya get weary
Don't cheer me, just hear me
Out 'cause I got the clout--shout (Ho!)
Before I turn the party out
I won't stutter--
Project my voice, speak clearly
So you can be my choice
On stage or on record
Go to the Wiz and select it
Take it off the rack, if it's wack put it back
I like the Whopper, fuck the Big Mac
If you want static, so let's go
So, throw up your hands
Go for what you know
Bro', I got an ego
Yo, talkin' to me? No
'Cause Rob is in the front, EZ Rock is on the Back up
We're not soft, so you better just slack up
'Cause I'm cool, calm just like a breeze
Rock the mike with the help of EZ
Rock on the set, the music plays
Only cuts the records that I say



Amen, Mr. Base.  Amen.





(p.s. How come I missed the memo on Vida Guerra???!?!  I just didn't know.)

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

"The only thing new in this world is the history you didn't know. " - Harry Truman

While still suffering (or immensely enjoying) the caffeine and sleep-deprivation induced insanity today, I learned a few things from NPR (what ELSE do I listen to?  Honestly!)  The most interesting thing I learned is about how Hawaii became a state.  Look it up.  It might surprise you, though if you've any sort of interest in American History, it really really shouldn't surprise you at all.


What did YOU learn today that you didn't know?




Off the donkey and onto Yog Soggoth!

Clearly I'm insane...I've reached a sort of mental tipping point, I think, where all sorts of strange neural connections are forming and pulsing like evil, slimy, alien tentacles. It could be the lack of sleep but probably the hot coffee injection I (and unfortunately my pants) took this morning. Will I crash and burn at around 3pm today or maybe collapse into a shaking, weepy pile of man in the corner of my cube? Probably. But for now, ride the fucking wave baby! APOLLO!!