Monday, August 21, 2006

The Swamps of Sadness...


For some strange reason this morning, I was hit with a bout of sadness. A melancholy vapor, if you will, a misty vibe of woe that shrouds my face today. Where did it come from? What will make it go away? Why does it smell like cabbage?

Nothing real exciting to report. Oh yeah, Cammy did some projectile upchucking on our way to church sunday. Raquita made Chicken Marsala (my fav! Yum!). I've got some kind of stomach virus that has allowed me to memorize the number of tiles in the bathroom walls and give each one a unique story based on the minute colorations differences and imperfections found therein.

Seriously. Why does my cloud of sad smell like cabbage? What gives?

Anyway. I'm going to try and ingest some caffeine into the body via hot oral injection...um...wait...thats not right. lets try that again. Im going to get a cup of coffee.

Hopefully that will kickstart the day and help me to get rid of the cabbage. I mean sadness.

Its nothing serious so no need to worry. Just a little melancholy. I bet if I hit my foot with a hammer, I'd stop being so woe-is-me. Isnt there a joke where melancholy is a punchline but it refers to a dog eating fruit? Or is that a fruit eating dog? Like the dog is eating the fruit but...nevermind!

Benticore
Out

Oh! We watched 'The Family Stone' last night. Talk about your study in family awkwardness. The wife and her collection of gal-pals loved it. I thought it was funny but unrealistic since everyone got with who they were supposed to get with right at the end, and then mom dies of cancer. It's almost (and this is grumpy cynical movie-goer Benticore talking here) as if they threw all these awful things at these characters for the sole purpose of allowing all of the ACTORS to demonstrate their emotional range onscreen. We had rage, and incredulity, laughter, sadness, bitter laughter, gleeful sadness, lust, drunkeness, and pot-headedness, among a host of others. Maybe Im just being crotchety today. Thats it...today is my crotchety day, and, unfortunately, it doesnt have all that much to do with my crotch. Maybe thats why Im melancholy? Cabbage in my pants? Huh? Oh, you're still here??

6 comments:

Sherri said...

ROFLMFAO! You're just begging to be called Cabbage Pants Kid from now on.

Andrea said...

Even with your melancholy you're making me laugh. And that's hard to do today since I was afflicted with a migraine this morning. I too have counted tiles in the last 24 hours. Unfortunately, they're tiles at work.

Have some Chicken Marsala. At least the cabbage smell will go away for a bit.

Dwight The Troubled Teen said...

Hope you are back on your feet soon, cousin.

Sherri said...

You feeling better now?

Luke Cage said...

Anyway. I'm going to try and ingest some caffeine into the body via hot oral injection...

- this was funny as hell with me man. Whatever mood you are in, it sure as hell isn't affecting your humor and light heartedness. Keep ya head up man!

The Practical Vampire Slayer said...

Hey Benticore,

Whenever I read your writing I think how lucky I am to have found you through our good pal Dwight. I'm telling you, B, you're writing is honest and funny and always surprising to me. So now I'm wondering what kind of book you're working on...you ARE working on a book, right?

Signed,

A Montana Fan