Monday, August 28, 2006

The Wall and the Wonton


Hey everybody. How was your weekend? Really? Yeah? Sounds great. Me? Oh I didnt do much...nah...I just

TURNED INTO SUPER FIXIT MAN!

Actually, I wasnt fixit man. I was his alter-ego MR.Break-some-shit. I took up my Sledge of the Titans, and Lo did I go to work. And ye, verily I say unto you, some shit, indeed, got broke.

We went to work on the upstairs bedroom with one bright idea and not alot of thinking. We figured, if we tore down the plaster that was rotting due to the water leakage, we'd be able to....um...what were we doing next honey? Our plan was basically;
  1. Break down plaster wall.
  2. ???
  3. Rule the world! *And eat dinner*
What did we find when I took hammer to wall with much gusto? Why Bricks, of course! Bricks and morter...crumbling bricks and mortor. Crumbling bricks and motor that peels away with the slightest touch. I must remind my gentle readers that this wall is all the will protect my loving wife and I from the harsh, cruel elemental warriors of Mother Nature.

My wife was at first shocked, but then her HGTV training kicked in. What do you do with a brick wall in your bedroom? Seal it and leave that bad boy bare! Since she's ALWAYS wanted a bare brick wall in her bedroom because of the character it gives the room, guess who's gonna have some crumbling brick action in his evening plans? Yeah.

My biggest worry is that the brick, upon seeing the polyurethane sealant, will shriek and run and crumble. I have this strange image of me leaning against the wall and somehow pushing Out; the wall crumbling outward, falling two stories and pelting our poor, poor dog like missles from an angry God.

I also made Wontons. I created my own wonton steamer, which consists pie tins, all of which had holes in them, a stock pot, and lid to said stockpot. One I made enough wontons, I placed my contraption (tuna can, pie tin with wontons, tuna can, pie tin with wontons) into the stockpot with a medium amount of water) Cover andof tuna cans (sans tuna) steam. They came out pretty tasty. I also made wonton soup, which was tastier and easier, though I am still proud of my Mcgyver contraption (Thank you Alton Browne). The recipes I used are simplicity itself. Honestly, the most annoying part was folding the wontons.

I was the HIT of the party! *Giggles*

What else...um...listening to a lot of Ninja Tunes, Theivery Corporation, Talvin Singh, and the like. With a little MOP *ANTE UP!* and Ghostface Killer thrown in for a mix.

It's monday and I'm ALREADY done with work this week. I mean, Im not DONE done...Im just DONE.

Benticore
Out
(Im working on a poem called Ice Refrain but it aint coming easy. It's hard, and brittle; every time I try to grasp it, it shatters in my hands, leaving me cold, wet and frustrated....LIKE ICE! HA! *sobs*)

9 comments:

Queue said...

I lub ya man, and this weekend was good, the wonton soup was OFF THE BANGER.. can we do it again? tonight?

Sherri said...

Break down plaster wall.
???
Rule the world! *And eat dinner*


Sounds like an awesome plan in a format I utilize daily.

Benticore, I love reading about your daily travails. You are the shizzit. (did I say that right?)

Aeshema the Fury said...

Sherri, let me consult the Negronomicon...ah...I see...

The correct word you are looking for is Shizznit which is used colloquially as a term of respect. A giving of 'props' if you will. A shizzit, is a snack cracker produced in the southern suburbs of Bogota, made entirely of cheeze and hamster droppings.

You did use the term in the correct manner, so you get 'props' from me for that.

Class dismissed!

Benticore
Out
Love ya sherri! =0)
Also, I made up the whole hamsters/cheese thing...

Sherri said...

Oh, shizznit, I thought I had it. I guess I need to get one of them Negronomicon thingies. Better yet, I'll just leave that talk to Snoop Dogg.

Well, at least I got points for trying...

CousinSarah said...

You and Queue are crackin me up with the fix it projects. CANT WAIT TO SEE WHATS NEXT! lol

Dwight The Troubled Teen said...

John Henry's woman, Raquita,--
Dress she wore was blue;

Eyes like stars an' teeth lak-a marble stone,

An' John Henry named his hammah "Raquita" too,--

Lawd, -- Lawd, --

John Henry named his hammah "Raquita" too.

Andrea said...

You crack me up. Especially with the

Break down plaster wall.
???
Rule the world! *And eat dinner*


Maybe your Mr. Break-Some-Shit and my husband Mr. Organize Some Shit So It Don't Look Broke can get together. He'd be very interested in your wanton contraption.

The Practical Vampire Slayer said...

There's no way to tell you how much I love the tuna can and pie tins. Thank you. I'm sending this to my sister, who will love it, too.

The Practical Vampire Slayer said...

Sent your link to my sister in Wisconsin. The pie tins and tuna cans were too good for her to miss.