Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Nerves and jitters and jitters and nerves...
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
'So this guy walks into the Doctors office and says "Doc, everyti me I do *This* it hurts.'
Monday, June 20, 2005
Drive by Posting...ratta-tat-tat-tat....
I see a light at the end of the tunnel...oh wait...is that a train?
At the end of this week, on a white beach bathed in the setting sun, surrounded by friends and family, I will say I DO and join the millions and millions of people that are married on this planet. Am I nervous? A tad bit, but not nearly as much as I thought I would be. I know this is the right thing to do and Im so ready to be doing it. And, in another sense, Marriage just doesnt happen because two people sign a sheet of paper infront of a judge and get it notarized. Well....uh...erm...okay thats Exactly how it happens, at least legally, but that is my point. A relationship like a marriage has little to do with the binding legal contract signed between two people. One does not make the other any stronger or weaker. Raquita and I have been working on this marriage thing for several years now, trying to help eachother become better people as well as keep an eye on our own dreams and ambitions. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt, but at the end of the day, I know that there is nobody else on the planet that I would rather be trying to do this with. Before the Bachelor party Super Joe asked me if I was feeling the jitters as my last few days as a free man passed me by. I told him truthfully that the days where serious thoughts of wandering had left me long ago. It's not as if I was just playing around and then, on Saturday, I decide to settle down or something. In my heart, and in my mind, we're already married. The commitment and the love and the strength and respect and devotion are already there. We just decided to get the legal stuff done in a wonderful beachy place with family and friends and we can also get it Official with God. But God knows exactly where my heart is at, so there aint no use frontin. You cant Punk God. And my ring is fan-friggin-tastic.
Yes dear...sorry dear...I'll remember dear...
I have been informed by my illustrious life companion, soul-mate and sexy-lover-homie-friend-supreme that I purposefully left out the OTHER stuff she put on my ring to make it seem like she had no romantic stuff on there. She also has V'ani La SOS 6:3 which is Hebrew for I am hers. This refers to Song Of Solomon, chapter 6, verse 3, which is something like 'I am my beloved and she is mine.' Yeah yeah yeah, show off....
I shall miss our conversations...
The thing that I miss most about my best friend being out of town isn't so much the late night video game sessions, or the true art he brings to roleplaying on Sunday(which will be SORELY missed) or me trying to use reverse psychology to make him feel less guilty and him reversing me so that I wind up on the wrong side of the argument no matter how I try to play it. What I miss is the simply easy conversations that we always have. Which is funny cause I still talk to him. He called me last night in fact. It's just that now, it's more expensive, and I know he wont just pop over to hang out for a minute before fencing. But, even with all that, there is no place I would rather him be than Japan. I expect great things from him and I am fully confident that he will exceed my expectations. We're all proud of him and he would blush at how many times me or Tambora or the others will mention how shit just don't seem right without the Mad Irishman in the mix. But he's pimpin in the Orient and we aint mad at that. That's Big Dog Style right there...you don't even know what you just saw do you? It's like water...uh...um....I lost my train of thought. Anyway, as long as he keeps blogging and callin and havin fun and GETTING TO WORK ON-TIME, I'll keep scrimpin and saving so that sometime next year, I'll be in Japan with him and he can show me the sights and keep me from getting cut by drunken Yakuza gangsters (cause you know in 6 months, those are the only people he'll want to hang out with).
Stay Tuned for more Previews...
Of some of the novels that Im working on. I figure I might throw a few tidbits up here, just to air them out, maybe help me look at them in different lights and hopefully jog my writing mind back into action. And no, I dont necessarily need grammatical criticism. I know the grammar might not be trump tight yet. Hell, Joe, its a rough frikkin draft! Ahem...anyway...here's a snippet From Lion and Spear, a story about two girls who can travel through dreams and their adventures together. As we join Nathalia and her younger sister Mikela, they're sitting down at the dinner table. They aren't getting along too good at this point. And.....action!
That evening, as Nathalia and Mikela did their homework, and their mother cooked dinner, the silence in the apartment was strange. Nathalia, tried hard to focus on her geometry but her mind kept wandering to the weirdness around her. She shivered and glanced around hoping to spy something that was wrong or misplaced so that she might right it and get back to her homework. Geometry was her worst subject and Mr. Kayek had a cruel streak a mile wide when it came to people who didn't turn theirs in.After her third glance around the room in vain, Mikela slammed her hand on her open social studies text book. The sharp slapping noise broke the silence like a gunshot, making both Nathalia and their mother jump.
'Would you stop fidgeting, Nathalia?' Mikela's voice was barely controlled anger, though still low and clouded with a barely stifled cough. 'Do your homework so you don't flunk out of Geometry.'
Nathalia's jaw dropped in surprise, stunned into silence by her sister's new betrayal. Before she could offer a retort her mother shrieked.
'Fail Geometry?' Their mother strode over to stand in front of Nathalia who was still staring daggers at Mikela. 'Why is this the first I've heard of this, Nathalia? Look at me when I'm talking to you!'
Nathalia pulled her eyes from her betraying sister to her furious mother. The sisters had conspired to keep Nathalia's geometry grade a secret from their mother until Nathalia could raise her grades. Every report card this semester had been conveniently left out of the evening mail handed to their mother and Mikela was a reluctant but loyal participant in the deception. Her betrayal now just went to show how untrustworthy she really was. But there would be a reckoning in the dream tonight.
'I am waiting, young lady.' There was more than just the threat of grounding for a life time or even a rare spanking in her voice. There was a level of disappointment that Nathalia could almost taste. 'What is going on and why are you keeping secrets from me? I thought we were better than that.'
'I'm sorry mama.' Nathalia tried to keep the anger out of her voice and found that it was easy. There was too much despair. 'I was having trouble in Geometry and wanted to get a tutor before it got too bad so that I didn't have to bother you with it.'
Mikela snorted derisively, earning a hard look from their mother.
'Be that as it may,' their mother continued, her tone softening somewhat. 'All we have is each other. You cant keep secrets from me and I cant keep secrets from you. If we start walling each other off from our lives, we won't survive as a family.
Nathalia felt a lump in her throat when her mother mentioned family. Daddy should be here, she thought, angrily. He should be here.
Nathalia looked back at Mikela, to see if she was gloating over the trouble she had gotten Nathalia into when she saw that Mikela was looking concernedly at their mother. Nathalia turned towards her mother and saw that she was no longer facing them, her arms crossed protectively over her chest.
'Momma,' the lump in Nathalia's throat dove into her stomach and slammed into her heart, making her chest begin to thud painfully. 'Why were you home so early today? You never come home this early.'
'Girls,' she finally got out. 'There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now and I haven't been able to. Not until today.'
Nathalia clutched her hands under the table and began to squeeze them together hard. She had to be strong for their mother and it would do no good for her to start crying now.
'You're...your father left you something. Something I was supposed to give you when you turned ten but I was so angry.' Their mother stopped speaking, the tears fighting with pain and rage years unshown for dominance in her voice. 'I apologize for that. It's taken me a long time to get to the point where I can even speak about our lives...before... but you don't deserve to bear the weight of my pain.'
She reached high above the countertop next to the sink and pulled down an old, worn shoebox with packing tape holding the corners together. She set it down in front of the girls on the kitchen table.
'I'm sorry.' She seemed as if she would say more, then bit her lip, turned and walked out of the kitchen.
A full minute passed with neither of the sisters moving or speaking. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Mikela tentatively reached forward and pulled the box towards her. Nathalia stood up, hand clenching and unclenching in curiosity and fear. What if there were pictures of them together, as a happy family? Nathalia had to fight hard to squeeze back red hot tears. He should be here now.
and....SCENE!
Yeah just a little snippet to tide all my adoring fans over....soon I might even finish this story (which is well on its way to getting going...I mean really raring...but as I said...fees, shorty...fees....
Anyways, love ya and hasta,
B
Quick update
Lets Do the Time Warp Again...
Several days has passed since I last WROTE a blog entry, even though the last entry went up today...I been shuttling around between various projects and what not. Daimushi is killing me with his prolific postings. I better step up. So we have to discuss a couple of things; the B-day party, the Bachelor Party, Wedding preparations, and a couple of other things in the news and what not. Lets get this Blog-party started!
Welcome Welcome Welcome to the Big Blue House....
There are pictures and proof. I did wear the Big Bear outfit for Camille's party and it did rock thusly. Actually it was itchy and sweaty and Camille didn't like it. She didn't freak out...she just kept giving me the eyeball like I was gonna steal her purse or something. Translate that to 1 year old thoughts and I guess she thought I was gonna snatch her binky or something. Anyway, the other kids seem to get a kick out of it, especially when they were given the order to 'Take me Out'. That's when things got a little out of hand. But all in all it was fun. And Hot. So very very hot. The thing has foam insulation through it's whole body and no air circulation in the head. So I was steaming myself to death while getting pummeled by sugar-happy eight year olds who wanted to prove how Not scared of the big bear they were. Like I said, there were pictures.
As you may have already seen on my baby's blog at www.raquita.blogspot.com we went through a TON of food and everybody seemed to eat well and enjoy themselves so that's a good thing. I think, all in all, the party was a big success although next time we might organize it a bit better. Her b-day being so close to the wedding made it necessary not to get too crazy. Besides, if Cammy remembers all this I'll be very surprised. But Speaking of weddings...
Mawwige....wuve....twooo wuve....
After getting freshened up at home (cause Camille inundated her self with cake and then layed on my chest, transferring the sweet stickiness to me) we got ourselves to the Father in laws house for the Bachelor party. Lets see. We swore a sacred oath not to reveal what went on that evening so there isn't much to tell. The two girls arrived, took an hour to Prepare and then my mind goes blank for about 2 hours. Nothing...um...Improper....went down, although I did learn some things I didn't know. It was a good time though and I was glad to hang out with my father-in-law and soon to be Brother-in-law^2 (my fiance's sisters fiancé). The wedding will be a blast. But I've said too much already....
With this ring, I thee wed...
The last thing I will say is about the rings, since I have to get back to work in the slave mines. I had Raquita's ring engraved with something like 'I see God's love in your eyes and I am grateful'. She put in mine 'Put it back on!'. That sums our relationship up in a nutshell...Damn, I love that crazy woman!
Peace for now,
B
It's been a long time...I shudna left you...with out a dope beat to step to...
. So I've worn this shirt twice and both times I ended up with the blood of my first born on it. Yeah time to toss the shirt…
I just finished this but it was supposed to be posted several days ago…so get ready for the time warp!
B
Monday, June 13, 2005
My Skull is going to implode...
Anyways, saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith on saturday night with the missus. Not a bad little film. Depends on what you were expecting when you went into it. If you thought that the movie would be a lot of high action, high tension, deep plotting affair, then you'd be pretty dissappointed. Dont get me wrong, there was action. At times high action. But the whole movie, despite the two main characters killing all these people, had a very light feel to it. Really, the movie is about a relationship between two people who just happen to kill eachother for a living. Not a bad date movie because of all their funny bickering while reloading that silenced baretta or combat shotgun. It was enjoyable though.
Not much else to report. My boy is safe and sound in Japan and has already completed his first day of employment, although I think all they did was tell him where he was going to work. He does training this week I believe. He's not the most reliable one when it comes to communication so if we get a blog post a week from him, I should say we consider ourselves lucky and move on. Well, thats all for now...Im going to go crawl into a corner and die. Love ya!
Peace
Benticore
Saturday, June 11, 2005
yummy Ramen
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Were singin in the rain...
So...Im at the baseball game with my friend J and of
course its raining. Weve been here for about 45
minutes so far and the rain doesnt seem to be
stopping. J got these tickets from a friend for free;
were in the nosebleed section of the stadium behind
home plate. J has some of the Worst luck of any human
being Ive ever known. It just seems like badstuff just
keeps happening to him. But, and this is a testament
to his spirit, he keeps moving and chuggin and fightin
and still has time to kiss my daughter and hug my
fiance. He is her best friend and is a good one at
that. I just pray for him as he walks through his life
and I know God walks with him.
So this was just a mini blog fro, the cellphone to
say hi. Hope your night is drier than mine!
peace
benticore
Because No one is watching...
Friday, June 03, 2005
My Memory Palace
You pull off a winding two lane road onto a smaller gravel lane to the left. All around you the verdant green forest breathes and sighes in the sumemr night. The gravel lane rises and the drops down and to the right, opening into a small parking area, still gravel and rock. A path at the edge of the parking area is illuminated with soft outdoor lights. It is made of smooth grey and green cobble stones and leads down and around a corner, dissappearing into the wooded night. Before you leave the pad you look straight out and can see a large, calm lake through the treetops. Moonlight dances on it's waters.
You take the path into the forest and after several feet you come to a clearing. At the back of the clearing, ontop of a small hill, you can see the house. It seems to be made of wood and stands two stories tall, the second story set further back from the front of the house than the first. You follow the path up the hill towards the house when you begin to hear the sound of trickling water ahead of you. A few feet more and you can see a small wooden bridge, spanning a stream. On the other side of the bridge, you can see the path which has widened into a large cobblestone paddock lit on both sides by gas torches and beyond that, the front porch of the house.
You cross the bridge and glance down at the waters that flow and burble over grey and white rocks. To your left, you follow the water upstream and see that it goes up the hill and around towards the back of the house. To your left, you see that the stream continues to travel downhill, heading into the lake which you now have a very clear view of. As you cross the bridge onto the gaslit cobblestone path, the rich, heady scent of honeysuckle overtakes you. As the wind, a soft breeze, ebbs and flows from the woods around you, the sweet smells of the forest rises and falls.
Facing the house, you can see the seven steps that lead from the cobblestone paddock to the front porch. The steps are made of a rough, worn grey stone that dont become slick in the rain. Enlaid in each step is the kanji for numbers one through seven, one being at the center of the bottom step and seven being enlaid on the top step. As you walk towards the steps, you can see the porch wraps around the house on both sides and helps to account for how much bigger the first floor appears to be compared to the second. The wood is a honey brown color, the grain clearly visible and smoothed as it the entire porch had be carved out of one collosal tree. Along the outer wall of the house, at the back of the porch, you spy several wooden benches, each softly lit by an outdoor lamp sitting on a wooden end table. The benches are simple in shape and design and look sturdy and heavy. Directly in front of you is a double sliding glass door and behind that you can make out a double shoji door. To the right side of the doorway you spy a windchime of beaten metal, it's largest tube bigger than your arm. To the left you can see a tall, thin wicker basket holding several black and green umbrellas. The door is closed but unlocked and you can hear music inside.
Welcome to my Memory Palace.
Are you Wondering 'What the hell did I just read?'
A memory palace is a kind of mnemonic device employed to help people remember places and things and lists by associating them with a specific place or location within a house or a building. Based on the Method of Loci, remembering certain events stored in your palace is as easy as walking to that place in the palace that the memory is stored and looking at the object that it is attatched to. Cicero believes that the Greek Poet Simonides invented it after he escaped a disaster that destroyed a building where he was having dinner with some dignitaries. He was able to name the victims by remembering where they had been seated. It takes lots of practice and patience but I thought it'd be cool to do as a sort of mental project becuase I HATE the fact that I can't recall detail as well as I'd like. It's all stored up there in the noggin. I just cant get it out... So for the next couple of blogs, I'll be constructing my memory palace. If you want to look it up, I'll post some links later so you can make your own or try to find out how to get burned at the stake by the Spanish Inquisition for Heresy and Witchcraft...Thats what they did to Giordano Bruno in 1600 for his Child-friendly book Shadow of Ideas. But hey, to each his or her own....
Dave Chappelle found God? Good for him...not so good for us?
I heard a rumor this morning that Dave Chappelle has found God and Allah is what Dave calls him. Dave apparently has become Muslim. Muslim? Really! How interesting. I know he needed some time off from his show and if this is true, then I am happy for him. There really isn't anything better than getting closer to ones creator. But there is some speculation that this is all just a big hoax/stunt to usher his 3rd season in with a bang and boost his DVD sales. If it is, I'd not be surprised. Dissapointed but not surprised.
Sometimes it's good to leave old friends behind...
One of my Fiance's old friends came through and unloaded a ton of dirt about their old gang. It was really sad to me to hear how some of the friendships that seemed so solid before, have been corrupted and destroyed by greed and jealousy and bad judgement. My Mielita used to hang with them but they stopped calling her and she stopped hanging with them some time ago. All of the drama that's been going on recently with them has nothing to do with my Fiance and I am so grateful to know that my baby isn't caught up in it all. Sometimes it's better to let old friends go, than letting them hang out to you cause, as my grandpa used to say 'When folks is doing wrong, they caint stand to see folks do right'. Of course I never knew my grandfather but it seems like something he might say...maybe....anyways
Episode 3: Revenge of Lucas
I call it revenge of Lucas because despite the misgivings of Legions of Die-Hard Starwars fans, we all went to see that craptacular film and dutifully gave that man our hard earned cash. He's laughing all the way to the bank. I've finally come to realize that he doesnt care that his fans feel like he betrayed the very pop-culture icons and fantasy world that he created, or that the movies he's making are so bad, they're almost unwatchable from a strickly good-film sense. He has his VISION and he's sticking to it, damn the world! If you haven't seen it, I'd say keep your cash and download that bitch off the net. If you have seen it and liked it, well, Im sorry for you AND your mama. But if you feel how I feel then you know what I mean when I tell you that the vision of Darth Vader standing there, screaming out like a little bitch as the emperor tells him he killed Padme curdled my stomach in horror for all the WRONG REASONS.
I also blame my hatred of the film on two other things. Watching the Firefly DVD and watching the Clone Wars Cartoon by Genndy Tartakovsky(sp). Firefly is a great show that was canceled by Fox a couple of years ago. If you havent heard of it, it's a show by Joss Whedon, of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel Fame. It mixes space opera and the old west with a little chinese overtone for flavor. It's hard to describe but it's a great show with snappy dialogue and truly interesting characters. After watching how good writing can make the most unseeming of plots and stories and charaters flow like sweet sweet honey, Watching EpIII was almost an offense to the senses. Hold me like you did on Naboo....Bitch, please....
The clone wars is a cartoon series done by the same guy who does Samurai Jack and Power Puff Girls and Dexters Lab. IT basically details the story of star wars BETWEEN episode II and III. So if you HAVEN'T seen Clone wars and saw Episode 3 and were wondering why General Greivous was coughing like he had taken a bad toke of the ganja the entire time he was onscreen, Clone wars explains it. It goes through how he captured the emperor and details why Mace Windu is such an unmitigated badass. I wont ruin it for you if you want to see it, but it will make some things in Episode III clearer, including your growing dislike for George Lucas and his incompetence and pride.
Anyways, I gotta run...Big weekend ahead. My best friend leaves for japan next week and we just barely got through closing on the House with our finances in tact. Now we only have to buy the wedding rings, Pay for the wedding (which we have to do in Jamaica), pay all the bills for this month, keep some spending cash for in Jamaica, and do all the other little things that homes and life demand. Wish me luck.
Benticore