I see a light at the end of the tunnel...oh wait...is that a train?
At the end of this week, on a white beach bathed in the setting sun, surrounded by friends and family, I will say I DO and join the millions and millions of people that are married on this planet. Am I nervous? A tad bit, but not nearly as much as I thought I would be. I know this is the right thing to do and Im so ready to be doing it. And, in another sense, Marriage just doesnt happen because two people sign a sheet of paper infront of a judge and get it notarized. Well....uh...erm...okay thats Exactly how it happens, at least legally, but that is my point. A relationship like a marriage has little to do with the binding legal contract signed between two people. One does not make the other any stronger or weaker. Raquita and I have been working on this marriage thing for several years now, trying to help eachother become better people as well as keep an eye on our own dreams and ambitions. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt, but at the end of the day, I know that there is nobody else on the planet that I would rather be trying to do this with. Before the Bachelor party Super Joe asked me if I was feeling the jitters as my last few days as a free man passed me by. I told him truthfully that the days where serious thoughts of wandering had left me long ago. It's not as if I was just playing around and then, on Saturday, I decide to settle down or something. In my heart, and in my mind, we're already married. The commitment and the love and the strength and respect and devotion are already there. We just decided to get the legal stuff done in a wonderful beachy place with family and friends and we can also get it Official with God. But God knows exactly where my heart is at, so there aint no use frontin. You cant Punk God. And my ring is fan-friggin-tastic.
Yes dear...sorry dear...I'll remember dear...
I have been informed by my illustrious life companion, soul-mate and sexy-lover-homie-friend-supreme that I purposefully left out the OTHER stuff she put on my ring to make it seem like she had no romantic stuff on there. She also has V'ani La SOS 6:3 which is Hebrew for I am hers. This refers to Song Of Solomon, chapter 6, verse 3, which is something like 'I am my beloved and she is mine.' Yeah yeah yeah, show off....
I shall miss our conversations...
The thing that I miss most about my best friend being out of town isn't so much the late night video game sessions, or the true art he brings to roleplaying on Sunday(which will be SORELY missed) or me trying to use reverse psychology to make him feel less guilty and him reversing me so that I wind up on the wrong side of the argument no matter how I try to play it. What I miss is the simply easy conversations that we always have. Which is funny cause I still talk to him. He called me last night in fact. It's just that now, it's more expensive, and I know he wont just pop over to hang out for a minute before fencing. But, even with all that, there is no place I would rather him be than Japan. I expect great things from him and I am fully confident that he will exceed my expectations. We're all proud of him and he would blush at how many times me or Tambora or the others will mention how shit just don't seem right without the Mad Irishman in the mix. But he's pimpin in the Orient and we aint mad at that. That's Big Dog Style right there...you don't even know what you just saw do you? It's like water...uh...um....I lost my train of thought. Anyway, as long as he keeps blogging and callin and havin fun and GETTING TO WORK ON-TIME, I'll keep scrimpin and saving so that sometime next year, I'll be in Japan with him and he can show me the sights and keep me from getting cut by drunken Yakuza gangsters (cause you know in 6 months, those are the only people he'll want to hang out with).
Stay Tuned for more Previews...
Of some of the novels that Im working on. I figure I might throw a few tidbits up here, just to air them out, maybe help me look at them in different lights and hopefully jog my writing mind back into action. And no, I dont necessarily need grammatical criticism. I know the grammar might not be trump tight yet. Hell, Joe, its a rough frikkin draft! Ahem...anyway...here's a snippet From Lion and Spear, a story about two girls who can travel through dreams and their adventures together. As we join Nathalia and her younger sister Mikela, they're sitting down at the dinner table. They aren't getting along too good at this point. And.....action!That evening, as Nathalia and Mikela did their homework, and their mother cooked dinner, the silence in the apartment was strange. Nathalia, tried hard to focus on her geometry but her mind kept wandering to the weirdness around her. She shivered and glanced around hoping to spy something that was wrong or misplaced so that she might right it and get back to her homework. Geometry was her worst subject and Mr. Kayek had a cruel streak a mile wide when it came to people who didn't turn theirs in.
After her third glance around the room in vain, Mikela slammed her hand on her open social studies text book. The sharp slapping noise broke the silence like a gunshot, making both Nathalia and their mother jump.
'Would you stop fidgeting, Nathalia?' Mikela's voice was barely controlled anger, though still low and clouded with a barely stifled cough. 'Do your homework so you don't flunk out of Geometry.'
Nathalia's jaw dropped in surprise, stunned into silence by her sister's new betrayal. Before she could offer a retort her mother shrieked.
'Fail Geometry?' Their mother strode over to stand in front of Nathalia who was still staring daggers at Mikela. 'Why is this the first I've heard of this, Nathalia? Look at me when I'm talking to you!'
Nathalia pulled her eyes from her betraying sister to her furious mother. The sisters had conspired to keep Nathalia's geometry grade a secret from their mother until Nathalia could raise her grades. Every report card this semester had been conveniently left out of the evening mail handed to their mother and Mikela was a reluctant but loyal participant in the deception. Her betrayal now just went to show how untrustworthy she really was. But there would be a reckoning in the dream tonight.
'I am waiting, young lady.' There was more than just the threat of grounding for a life time or even a rare spanking in her voice. There was a level of disappointment that Nathalia could almost taste. 'What is going on and why are you keeping secrets from me? I thought we were better than that.'
'I'm sorry mama.' Nathalia tried to keep the anger out of her voice and found that it was easy. There was too much despair. 'I was having trouble in Geometry and wanted to get a tutor before it got too bad so that I didn't have to bother you with it.'
Mikela snorted derisively, earning a hard look from their mother.
'Be that as it may,' their mother continued, her tone softening somewhat. 'All we have is each other. You cant keep secrets from me and I cant keep secrets from you. If we start walling each other off from our lives, we won't survive as a family.
Nathalia felt a lump in her throat when her mother mentioned family. Daddy should be here, she thought, angrily. He should be here.
Nathalia looked back at Mikela, to see if she was gloating over the trouble she had gotten Nathalia into when she saw that Mikela was looking concernedly at their mother. Nathalia turned towards her mother and saw that she was no longer facing them, her arms crossed protectively over her chest.
'Momma,' the lump in Nathalia's throat dove into her stomach and slammed into her heart, making her chest begin to thud painfully. 'Why were you home so early today? You never come home this early.'
'Girls,' she finally got out. 'There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now and I haven't been able to. Not until today.'
Nathalia clutched her hands under the table and began to squeeze them together hard. She had to be strong for their mother and it would do no good for her to start crying now.
'You're...your father left you something. Something I was supposed to give you when you turned ten but I was so angry.' Their mother stopped speaking, the tears fighting with pain and rage years unshown for dominance in her voice. 'I apologize for that. It's taken me a long time to get to the point where I can even speak about our lives...before... but you don't deserve to bear the weight of my pain.'
She reached high above the countertop next to the sink and pulled down an old, worn shoebox with packing tape holding the corners together. She set it down in front of the girls on the kitchen table.
'I'm sorry.' She seemed as if she would say more, then bit her lip, turned and walked out of the kitchen.
A full minute passed with neither of the sisters moving or speaking. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Mikela tentatively reached forward and pulled the box towards her. Nathalia stood up, hand clenching and unclenching in curiosity and fear. What if there were pictures of them together, as a happy family? Nathalia had to fight hard to squeeze back red hot tears. He should be here now.
Yeah just a little snippet to tide all my adoring fans over....soon I might even finish this story (which is well on its way to getting going...I mean really raring...but as I said...fees, shorty...fees....
Anyways, love ya and hasta,