Tuesday, June 21, 2005

'So this guy walks into the Doctors office and says "Doc, everyti me I do *This* it hurts.'

I made my first trip to the Foot Doctor today.  Gave all my information and sat in the nice, hi-tech lobby with the flat screen TV's and computer monitors all run from the central server.  When my name was called, I went to the little room, answered some questions and then took off my shoes.  All in all it wasn't too bad.  Turns out I have Plantar Facists.  Wait...Foot Nazi's?  No that cant be right.  Well, it's something to do with the Tendon near the heel that connects the heel to the ball of the foot that is inflamed.  So Im thinking...hmmm maybe some excercises, or perhaps a nice, invigorating massage.  The Doctor (with his spikey black hair and 'I've more money than you' airs) has his nurse numb my foot with something that looked like a hypospray outta Star Trek and then whips out his big, long, shiny needle.  We're talking three maybe for inches of gleaming hot steel.  He jabs me unmercifully with his instrument of death begins to inject the medicine directly into my tendon.  Does it hurt, you ask?  Did I cry out in fear and terror?  No, good friends, It didnt hurt.  Not at first.  But once the medicine hit, I had to struggle to not let loose with a bruce Lee kick to the Doctors grill.  Man that crap stings.  My foot feels better though, which is good.
 
Money not coming in like it used to?  FUCK YOU PAY ME!  Cops conviscate all your merchandise?  FUCK YOU PAY ME...
So, just so it can be stated once and for all, to elimante any confusion, Collection Agents are the scum of the earth.  The waste product of some moldy babylonian god who crawled through the wastes of the universe feasting on broken dreams and ruined hopes.  The people who do the job are okay, most likely.  But once they put on that hat and start askin for their money from good intentioned, well meaning but currently broke folks...well....thats when you see the horns and the ass-stabbin pitchfork.  Why the sudden rant, you ask?  Well, I was called by one of these agents of evil and chaos and reminded (and not in a friendly way, mind you) that certain parties would not be pleased if I didn't make some sort of...offering...to their demon god called School FUCKING Loans.  Anyway, yours truly has held off Jabba and his evil minions, eluded them for now, one could say.  I just wish I had the Millenium Falcon to show for it...anywho...
 
Im getting off work so I'm out!
Benticore
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...what?....you want me to post more?  Well, too bad.  I'm leaving....you'll just have to sassify yourself with the lil tidbits I'm leaving you for now...maybe later, if...IF you've earned it...I might break you off a lil somethin thick and chewy...but for now...eat your gruel...
OUT

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