Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Until I find the words...

I have a lot of things to say, to get off of my chest.  I saw my mother this weekend for the first time in nearly 2 years.  It called into question a lot of the things that I am still trying to work through.  I want to talk about it, but I want to understand it first, if that makes sense.  When I'm ready, I'll talk about it.  I'll share it.  Maybe someone can find some comfort in what I am discovering about myself and the relationship I have/had/trying to build with my mother.  But until then, I cant say much more than this;

I'm sorry mom.  I love you, and I wont leave you.  You're not alone.


I've already told her but maybe I had to tell myself too.

I don't know.

Benticore
Out

2 comments:

Binky said...

I know houw you feel and I feel the same way Lil Bro o' mine. WE both need to take a more active arpproach to building that desperately needed and much wanted realtioinship with our mom and I am going to start by relocating myself and oiur nephew. I need to understand how and why the things I've discovered this past weekend came about and how I personally played a part in where our mom is spirtually, emotionally, mentally and physically. Together, you and I, can help her and in turn something wonderful will come out of all of this. Persistence is the key and love is the road we must travel together. I love you more than you know and I love your family as well. 'Til our lives once again cross...........
Hasanda
Your Big Sister

Queue said...

you two are gonna make me cry. The best part about the weekend, was finally meeting the one person who loves Jerry almost as much as I do. I CAN'T wait for you to get here. Anything you can think of that you want me to do while you are gone let me know - you got the e-mail right?